The Super Mario Story

I don't know why, but I feel compelled to write about my experience (and admittedly I've been on a bit of an experience kick lately) with the Super Mario Bros. I first was introduced to the Super Mario franchise in 1987, when I first got the NES. In the 21 years since, I think I've played a Mari game at least once a month, probably more often. And I'll probably go and play one when I finish this post.

Super Mario Bros.
Go ahead, think back to those days. I'll wait.

There, wasn't that fun. I mean, c'mon, unless you've been hiding under a rock for the last quarter-century, there's a very good possibly that you have also experienced the Super Mario Bros.

Let's go back to the good ol' days of 1985. The Nintendo Entertainment System was quietly revolutionizing video games, and the flagship of Viva La' Juegos de Video was the Super Mario Bros, which isn't really fair because in Single Player mode you only played as Mario. They hadn't quite figured out that whole "select a character" option yet.

After a few excruciating encounters with Toad (Sorry, Mario, But our Princess is in another castle. ... Well, what the $#@&*$!%$#^% did I waste my @!#%$^& time for?) you reach the last castle, a little trickery and a flame spitting, jumping, hammer-throwing Bowser dumped into lava later, you rescue the Princess and win the game.

Super Mario Bros 2 was... interesting to say the least. I personally enjoy the game a lot. I have a lot of fun playing it. Mario 2 started out as Yume Kōjō: Doki Doki Panic, a completely different game with no relation to the Mario franchise at all. That's probably why the great villain is Wart, a mutated frog with a dislike of vegetables. Turns out, the game is just on big dream that Mario is having. Kinda like that one season of Dallas, eh?

Super Mario Bros. 3 is one of the greatest video games ever made. The premise remains much the same. Bowser, giant dino-lizard-Godzilla-wannabe has kidnapped our fair Princess Peach (an obsession that remains forever part of the Mario series) and runs off with her. Much like the Super Nintendo title, Super Mario World (which isn't discussed here, I know, I'm surprised too)) Bowser has his children guarding each level. Essentially, as you progress in this game, you get the perverse pleasure of snuffing out your enemy's family before reaching you enemy. That is, unless you take the moral high ground and get the two whistles hidden in world 1 and then warp to the last level, but where's the fun in that?

Like I said, we've skipped the Super Nintendo game for reasons even I can't fathom. With the launch of the Nintendo 64, Mario got an update. Gone were the days of side-scrolling 2-D action, replaced with the lovable 3-D Mario that showed just how many donuts our Brooklyn plumber had been eating for all these years. Same principal, Bowser kidnaps the Princess, only this time he's taken her hostage in her own home. Man, this guy should've appeared on an episode of Cops by now. Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna... oh, sorry, got off track there.

Anyway, Mario has to progress through several levels with varying degrees of difficulty, eventually reaching the top of the tower and a final showdown with Bowser. My favorite thing to do in this game is to reach the last two stars in the Lava world in the basement, then get on the shell and ride across the lava like I'm on a skateboard. There are at least 6 1-Ups you can gain by doing this. And it's fun as crap, too.

When Mario made the jump to the Gamecube platform, he made it in style. Super Mario Sunshine revealed the depths of kiddie-stylized depravity Nintendo would sink to in order to hook those younger buyers. If tobacco companies did this kind of marketing, there would be riots in the streets, and probably mass lynchings of Marlboro executives. Mario found himself on Isle Delfino (which is the greatest track in the history of Mario Kart games, you gotta check it out on MarioKart Wii), where a slimy Mario look-a-like has been trashing the town. Mario is incarcerated for the crime and given a talking water-pack to clean up the graffiti he had allegedly created.

Mario eventually learns that the vandal is none other than Bowser's kid. And they've kidnapped the Princess again, with Bowser Jr. calling Her Mama Peach (I'm telling you, the Bowser family has some serious issues). Mario finally defeats Bowser again, but they should've leanred by now to stop giving this Bowser guy a free ride in jail and just take him out behind the woodshed and put one right behind the ear, he won't feel a thing.

The next two entries in the Mario series showcased a different style of game altogether. Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, introduced the Gamecube audience to Mario in paper form, where he gathered a team, and tried to unlock the mysteries of the Thousand Year Door. Peach was kidnapped again, that darn Bowser... wait, it wasn't Bowser this time. Well I'll be...

Mario tracks down the Crystal Stars, opens the Thousand Year door, and finds a brand new world underneath the town of Rogueport. Turns out, Princess Peach has been possessed by a demon, and she's the final villain of Paper Mario. After defeating the demon and freeing Peach, Mario goes home to rest.

That is, until Super Paper Mario, the first Mario title for the Wii. Mario finds himself once again in 2-D form, but with the added twist of now being able to turn his world into 3 dimensions to unlock certain areas and access certain weapons. Mario is fighting the wicked Count Bleck, who kidnaps Peach, and Luigi, and Bowser (finally that bastard is getting a taste of his own medicine). Mario eventually rescues them all, I guess... This is the one title on this page that I've never beaten. I've got in my room right now, should probably go and play it. Maybe later.

The other title for the Wii is Super Mario Galaxy. Galaxy is already being hailed as one of the greatest Wii games so far, and possibly one of the best Mario games ever. I would have to agree. Galaxy has it all. Peach once again kidnapped by Bowser (thank God all is right with the world once again), superb gameplay, and a cameo by Barack Obama. Okay, I'm kidding on that last part... or am I?

Super Mario Galaxy features incredible graphics, a wonderful plot, and an epic final battle with Bowser that leaves all other Bowser battle to date far behind. Galaxy sets the bar incredibly high for the next Mario title, and if I were the guy making the Mario games, I might consider quitting while I was ahead.

That's Mario. From start to finish. Well, we left out most of the Mario Kart games, pretty much every Mario game for the Gameboy and DS, and the silly sports games. Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games? Please.

That's why we love to play the games.