My Formula 1 Experience So Far.... (Part I)

Who else am I going to root for? Fernando "Animal House" Alonso? I think not. How about Kimi Raikkonen - a man who is incapable of speaking in anything but a dry monotone voice - it's hard to believe that this damp washcloth of a personality was actually caught at a strip club. There just aren't any other drivers I care about. Sure Jenson Button is a good driver, I like Mark Webber, and this kid Robert Kubica is looking damn promising at an early stage in his career. But none of them are Schumi. Michael is the Babe Ruth, the Michael Jordan, the Tiger Woods of the game; he's incredible. And next year, I don't have anyone to pull for. I'll still cheer for Ferrari - after all I'm a Tifosi, but it won't be the same. Massa and Raikkonen as a pairing at Ferrari is as exciting as watching Bea Arthur and Betty White in a new sitcom, while eating saltine crackers and drinking stale bathtub water.
-Robert at Skewed on October 8, 2006

I feel compelled to write a few words on my experience with Formula 1 this year. You see, a year ago, nay, eight months ago, when Robert would begin talking about Formula 1 and how great Michael Schumacher was, my brain-wave activity would drop to a level just above COMA and just below EGGPLANT. My eyes would glaze over, and I think at one point I actually put my thumbs in my ears and yelled "I can't hear you, WOO. I'm not listening. WOO!"

All of that changed on July 20th. I had just gotten home from church, and I'd settled into my chair in my room, intent on playing some video games. I made my customary run through the channels and stopped for a moment on Fox, where they were showing a race. It was Sunday, so it had to be NASCAR, right? Wrong. I watched as something beautiful happened. The 2008 GROSSER PREIS SANTANDER VON DEUTSCHLAND (That's German Grand Prix, in basic terms) unfolded from Hockenheim. I was completely unfamiliar with the sport, other then what I had subconsciously heard while ignoring Robert.

Yet on this day, I couldn't turn away. I was drawn in. Lewis Hamilton, driver numero uno for McLaren Mercedes, took the win, and I found my guy in the sport. I immediately called Robert and he was shocked to hear me spouting names like Hamilton, and Raikkonen, and Alonso. Two weeks later came the proof that I was hooked. I woke up early just to watch the race from Budapest. As Felipe Massa dominated the Hungaroring, I watched the clock, knowing that I had to go to church, but that the race would be replayed and I would get to watch the end. I figured that Robert, Mr. F1 himself, would be up and watching the race as well.

After church and on the way home I called him up and asked if Massa dominated to the end, to which he quickly said, "Dude, shut up, I didn't watch it yet!" That's when I knew. I was in. I was a Formula 1 junkie.

I sat spellbound as these blazingly fast cars flew across the bridge at Valencia, which was fun because, I knew Robert didn't like Fernando "Animal House" Alonso, and Valencia was his home track. And wouldn't you know it, Kaz Nakajima took him out on the first lap.

Two weeks later came my initiation into the "F1 Favors Ferrari" Club. I'll say this to start, the track at Spa-Francorchamps is absolutely my favorite of the nine tracks I saw this year. But what happened at Spa this year really ticked me off. It was an absolutely brilliant race from the start (check out the video. For my English-speaking readers, I'm sorry.) As the race progressed, it was evident that Kimi Raikkonen's Ferrari was the car to beat, as he set fast lap after fast lap. Lewis Hamilton battled back from a ten second deficit and had finally caught up to Raikkonen with just a few laps to go. And then Hamilton was forced wide and had to cut the Bus Stop chicane. He yielded the position back to Raikkonen before eventually passing him, but the F1 stewards deemed that Hamilton had gained an unfair advantage. He was assessed a 25-second penalty, dropping him from the win to third place.

I, of course, was unaware. I thought I'd just seen a fantastic race. It wasn't until later that afternoon when Robert called me and said, "Well, the stewards have screwed the pooch, my friend." He went on to explain the decision, and we both spent a few minutes commiserating over what had transpired. Even Robert, who was a dyed-in-the-wool Ferrari fanatic, was shaking his head on this one.

And that's just the first half of my Formula 1 experience. Stay tuned for Part II, where I discover night racing at Singapore, a crazy, once again stewards-screwed race at Fuji, and an insane down-to-the-wire battle for the 2008 World Championship between McLaren's Hamilton and Ferrari's Felipe Massa.

Before I go, let's look back at Robert's statement from the opening of this post. He was trying to figure out who to pull for. He even mentioned a promising young driver in BMW Sauber's Robert Kubica. Kubica finished fourth in the World Championship standings this year. Congratulations.