Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Ocarina of Time: A Kid at Heart


The other day, while reading Robert's latest entry over at Skewed, I was reminded of why we play video games. As he so eloquently deduced, we play these games because they remind us of the glory days of our youth. And then he committed a cardinal sin. He mentioned the name of Ocarina of Time, but then glossed over it and moved on. This cannot stand.


I have to right his wrong.


You see, I’ll defend nearly to the death that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, is the best video game ever made. Released on November 21, 1998 (in Japan) for the Nintendo 64, Ocarina of Time went on to sell over 800,000 units in Japan in 1998. Pretty impressive for a run of just over one month. I picked up my copy on Black Friday 1998. I remember standing in line at the store with my mom, helping her Christmas shop. She wanted me to pick out the games with the understanding that I couldn’t play them until Christmas. I was cool with that. At least I was getting what I wanted.


We got back out to the car and began loading the bags. Once in the car, she held up the two games I had picked out, Ocarina of Time and the first Turok release, and said, “Pick one.” I was puzzled for a moment and then pointed to Ocarina of Time. “Here, Merry Christmas.” I didn’t see that one coming. But I knew for certain that my next two weeks of school were pretty much shot.


Once back home I cracked open the game box, forgiving the misspelling on the back cover, and pulled out the instruction booklet. A cursory glance told me all I needed to know about the movements of the game’s protagonist, Link. I deftly set the game cartridge in the console and powered everything up, unaware that my gaming life was about to change forever.

The game's intro was at once beautiful and awe-inspiring. I had personally never seen a game like it. My previous gaming experience had been limited to the original Nintendo Entertainment System. Playing games like the Super Mario Bros. series, Duck Hunt, Anticipation, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Excitebike, which I just downloaded onto my Wii last night, and already I feel like a kid again. I never played an NES Zelda game, though,


But now I had an N64, the most powerful Nintendo system yet. And Ocarina of Time was the perfect example of what that system could do. I watched the majestic opening sequence. I selected my name, LINK, as I now do every time I play a Zelda game for the first time. Then the game began.


I remember watching Link awaken in his treehouse in Kokiri Forest, and then following the adventure as he gained the weapons necessary to enter the Deku Tree and defeat Gohma, the first boss of the game. As is common with the Zelda series, each dungeon features a weapon necessary to defeat the boss of that dungeon. In the Deku Tree, that weapon was the slingshot. Before you leave Kokiri Forest with the first Sacred Stone, the Kokiri’s Emerald, be sure to swing by the Lost Woods for a little target practice that will net you a larger seed bag.


Once you left Kokiri’s Forest, on the orders of the Great Deku Tree, you made your way to Hyrule Castle Town. Along the way you gain the Fairy Ocarina. In Ocarina of Time, songs play a huge role. You have to know certain songs to open certain doors, to sway certain characters to your side. Learn the songs. Once you reach Hyrule Castle and make friends with Malon you proceed to the castle and a fateful meeting with titular character, Princess Zelda.


Zelda sends you on a mission to find the other two Sacred Stones, first to Death Mountain, home of the Gorons. After making peace with Goron big boss Darunia, you enter Dodongo’s Cavern. In this second dungeon Link earns the bomb bag, one of the most useful inventions in video game history, though probably not OSHA approved. Once Link takes out the boss of this dungeon, King Dodongo, and gains the Goron Ruby, he advances to Zora’s River. A quick swim to Lake Hylia and a fish-in-a-bottle later, Link finds himself inside the Zoran God, Jabu-Jabu.


Bottles are worth more than anything in the Zelda series. In Ocarina of Time you can collect four bottles. These are handy for keeping fairies, which replenish hearts. But back to the story…Link enters the belly of Jabu-Jabu to save Princess Ruto, of the Zoras. He gains the boomerang and defeated Barinade, an electrified anemone. Ruto gives Link the Zora’s Sapphire and sends him on his way.


Returning to Hyrule castle, Link sees Zelda and her caretaker, Impa of the Sheikah, fleeing on horseback. Zelda tosses an object into the moat behind Link. Once Link turns around, he meets the main antagonist, Ganondorf, face to face. Ganondorf casts Link aside with a magic attack and chases off after Zelda. Retrieving the object Zelda threw to him, Link finds the game’s titular object, the Ocarina of Time.


Links goes to the Temple of Time, in Hyrule Castle Town, and places the three Sacred Stones on the altar and plays the Song of Time. The heavy stone door opens and Link sees the Master Sword resting in its pedestal. He pulls the sword from the pedestal, opening a gate to the Sacred Realm, home of the Triforce. But Ganondorf follows him, taking the Triforce and corrupting Hyrule.


Link awakens seven years later, in a form able to fight Ganondorf, who has thoroughly changed Hyrule for the worse. Link has within him the Triforce of Courage, as the Triforce split when Ganondorf touched it. Ganondorf gained the Triforce of Power, the only thing he desired. The Triforce of Wisdom went missing. Link is told by Sheik, the last surviving Sheikah, to awaken the Sages who inhabit five temples around Hyrule.


Link leaves the Temple of Time and escapes what amounts to a zombie-filled Castle Town. Link proceeds to the Forest Temple, only after gaining the Hookshot from Kakariko Village. Entering the Forest Temple, Link fights off several enemy characters to gain the Bow and Arrow. The Temple’s boss is a Phantom of Ganondorf. Link defeats the Phantom, but is assured by the real Ganondorf that he will not die so easily. Saria, Link’s childhood friend, is awakened as the Forest Sage.

At each temple, or just prior to each Temple, Link is confronted by Sheik, who teaches him an Ocarina song that will allow him to warp to the entrance of the upcoming Temple. Link also needs to swing by Lon Lon Ranch, home of Malon, who he befriended earlier, to get Epona, his horse.


The next stop on Link’s tour is the Fire Temple. In the crater atop Death Mountain, Link found the entrance to this temple. He had to first gain a fire-resistant tunic. Inside the Fire Temple, Link began rescuing captive Gorons. He also found the Megaton Hammer, a weapon necessary to defeat the boss, a flying fire dragon named Volvagia. Upon the dragon’s death, Darunia is awakened as the Fire Temple Sage.


Lake Hylia appears next on Link’s radar, requiring visits to Zora’s Domain to get a tunic that allows Link to breathe underwater, and a visit to the Ice Cavern to get the Iron Boots. Link needs these boots, as the entrance to the Water Temple is under the surface of Lake Hylia. The Water Temple was, to me, one of the hardest temples in the game. There is constant, true-RPG-goodness, backtracking throughout this temple.


Link finally reaches the boss, Morpha. A battle ensues, requiring the use of the Longshot, a hookshot that fires twice as far. Link disposes of Morpha and awakens Princess Ruto as the Sage of Water. Leaving the Water Temple, Link is able to get the Fire Arrow, a magic arrow that burns what it hits, causing more damage.


The next temple Link must enter is the Shadow Temple. Located in the graveyard of Kakariko Village, the Shadow Temple is home to Bongo Bongo, a gigantic invisible drummer. Link needs the Eye of Truth, a magic lens that allows him to see invisible things, to defeat this boss. Also, early on in this temple, Link gains the Hover Boots, a pair of boots that allow him to hover for short times of chasms and pits. Defeating Bongo Bongo awakens Impa as the Sage of Shadow.


The last temple is the Spirit Temple, located in the Desert Colossus. Link must befriend the Gerudos, the race that Ganondorf hails from. He earns their respect and is allowed to pass into the desert. Once at the Desert Colossus, Link meets Nabooru, a Gerudo thief, and discovers that he can only enter the temple at first as a child. He returns to the Temple of Time. Placing the Master Sword back in the pedestal returns Link to his child form from earlier in the game.


He returns to the Spirit Temple and, after many enemies and dangers, gains the Silver Gauntlets. Without these gauntlets, Link would be unable to access certain parts of the temple. He once more travels to the Temple of Time and retrieves the Master Sword. As an adult once more, Link enters the Spirit Temple.


Along this dangerous path through the Temple, Link finds the Mirror Shield. Using the shield’s ability to reflect sunlight, Link opens doors and reveals the path to the boss, the twin witches Twinrova. Twinrova attacks Link as two separate entities up until a certain point, as which time they join into one creature with greater firepower. Link defeats Twinrova, though, and awakens Nabooru as the Spirit Temple Sage.


Link returns to the Temple of Time and meets Sheik once more. Sheik reveals himself to actually be Princess Zelda. Zelda gifts Link the Light Arrow, but is then captured by Ganondorf.


Link, chasing after the captured Zelda, finally goes to the old castle, only to find it gone, replaced by a giant lake of lava and Ganondorf’s Castle hovering above it. The Sages use their magic to create a bridge, allowing Link to assail the castle. Using the arsenal of weapons he has assembled, Link finally reaches the top of the castle, where Ganondorf awaits.

An epic battle ensues that eventually sees Link victorious. He and Zelda escape the rapidly collapsing castle. Once the dust settles, Link begins to walk back to the center of the castle. The Master Sword is then knocked from his hand and beyond the edge of a ring of fire that appears. Ganondorf floats up from the rubble, beaten and bloodied. He then angrily transforms into Ganon, a beast of raw power wielding two large swords. Link uses the Megaton Hammer to hold off Ganon until he can retrieve the Master Sword. Using the Master Sword, and Zelda’s magic power, Link finally puts an end to Ganon, and the Sages banish Ganondorf into the void. Zelda thanks Link for his effort in saving Hyrule. She then uses the Ocarina of Time to send him back to his childhood days, to let him live out his life in peace.


That’s a short synopsis of the game. Yes, that’s short. You have to understand that Nintendo gamers had never seen a game like Ocarina of Time before. The environment was massive, beyond anything ever seen on a Nintendo system. The graphics, given the capabilities of the N64, were nothing short of magnificent. The battle system was highly intuitive, with some enemies not affected by certain attacks.


The replay value was intense, as you could try tackling the temples in different order. I always go to the Fire Temple first, instead of the Forest Temple. Ocarina of Time also truly popularized the Legend of Zelda Three-Hearts Challenge, an ordeal set forth by Zelda gamers to complete the game with only the three hearts you have at the beginning.


The first time I played Ocarina of Time, I knew that I could never go back. I had seen a world of gaming that was just beginning to open up. Future Zelda games, like Majora’s Mask (N64, built off the same Engine as Ocarina of Time), Wind Waker (GameCube), Twilight Princess (Wii and GameCube, and Skyward Sword (Wii) have built off the concepts laid out in Ocarina of Time. A large environment, a challenging story, and ever-more-difficult enemies. A winning combination.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Dumb Things Said to Me Today

I've walked this Earth for thirty years. I've lived all that time in the United States. I watch a lot of British TV. I've been to Canada.

I've heard some stupid things.

That said, something I heard today baffled me to the point of near-speechlessness.

My grandfather is in the hospital. I was visiting him today, and upon leaving I entered the madhouse. As I stepped off the elevator the fire alarm went off. I looked around and noticed that no one was panicking, so I immediately assumed it to be a drill. I casually strolled toward the exit, completely unaware of the idiocy rushing to meet me head-on.

Just before I reached the door I heard it, "Sir." I turned to the front desk. "Sir, you can't go outside. This is a fire drill."

You read that right. Those exact words. "Sir, you can't go outside. This is a fire drill." I stood there, dumbfounded. My brain kicked through about ten different responses at once before settling on "Oh...I....uh, ummm....what? What do you mean "I can't go outside?" Shouldn't you want people to go outside."

The lady at the front desk simply nodded. I pointed to the door, "Every fire drill I've ever been a part of has taught me to get outside of a potentially burning building."

As I said this, a horde of people descended the stairs by the front desk, each of them carrying a fire extinguisher. In hindsight, we're very lucky a fire did not break out anywhere else in the hospital, because these people and their leisurely pace to put out the pretend fire left the rest of the hospital unprotected.

I turned once more to the front desk lady and said, "I'm sorry, I'm not making fun of you. It's just a backwards policy."

Her response: "I agree. I don't make it up, I'm just telling you what they tell me."

I guess if you're the victim of imaginary burns, being in a hospital is a good place.
One other dumb thing said to me...

I'm in Kroger and I have a six-pack of Pepsi bottles. As the cashier is ringing me up, I reach into the cooler beside the checkout line and grab a Coca-Cola bottle. He looks at this and says "So you've got s six pack of Pepsi and a single Coke bottle..."

"It's a drink, buddy. Don't read too much into it."

Monday, February 06, 2012

Formula 1 Car Unveilings 2012: The Uglier Truth

*This blog receives no financial compensation, nor does it seek financial compensation. I strive to remain unbiased in my discourse concerning F1, especially when dealing with the appearance of the cars. Sadly, my unbiased nature fell apart in this particular blog post.*

So, did McLaren Mercedes find a loophole that no one else figured out in order to avoid the hideous "step-nose," or will Charlie Whiting have some not-so-nice things to say to the Woking outfit when he arrive in Jerez for the first preseason test?

Four more cars have hit the market, so to say.

First up is the Lotus E20. Lotus, once the Renault F1 Team, and last year Lotus-Renault, rolled out yet another step-nose monstrosity.
The car maintains the black-gold livery with the completely out-of-place red wing and end plates bearing the TOTAL branding. And of course, the step-nose, bane of the F1 Fanatic this season. Lotus has a pulled what might be the PR coup of the year, bringing in the Iceman, Kimi Raikkonen, a former World Driver's Champion. They also have a still-recovering Robert Kubica in the wings. If those two ever teamed up, and Raikkonen returns to form, Lotus will have a formidable pairing.

Next on our list of horror is the Sauber C31.
Like everyone else except McLaren, Sauber has the step-nose. But for some reason, their step-nose actually looks worse than the others. This car is so ugly that Kamui Kobayashi has actually had to defend it in the press.

The step-nose really needs a name that conveys the insipid horror it truly is. For the rest of this blog post, I'll call Geoff.

Our third contender in "This Week in the Absolutely Horrid" is Scuderia Toro Rosso, the Red Bull B-Team. While Toro Rosso was once the "Team Named Sebastian," they are now the only-slightly-different-in-appearance team from their big brother, Red Bull.
The STR7 has a Geoff, just like everyone else. Scuderia Toro Rosso would love to return to the form of 2008, when Sebastian Vettel captured their maiden, and only, win at Monza. I'm not sure that they can pull it off with this equipment.

Finally, on our list for now, is the Constructor's Champion, and World Driver's Champion, Red Bull Renault.
The team released the RB8. Once again, it has a Geoff. Red Bull's Geoff is almost as badd as the Geoff on the Ferrari F2012. But Red Bull also has Adrian Newey, and that isn't a euphemism for a cruddy piece of auto-body design. Adrian Newey is a design genius. As long as he has an office in the Red Bull Renault Technology Center, you have to think that Red Bull is the Championship favorite.

Eventually people will realize just how terrible these regulations are, and will leave the Geoff Era of Formula 1 in the past. Until then, we have to tolerate Geoff.

Saturday, February 04, 2012

Super Bowl Prediction

The Super Bowl is upon us. I told my Dad before the Packers-Giants Divisional Round game that the winner of that game would win the Super Bowl, and I'm sticking with it.

Final Score:
New York Giants 26
New England Patriots 24

Formula 1 Car Unveilings 2012: The Ugly Truth

*This blog receives no financial compensation, nor does it seek financial compensation. I strive to remain unbiased in my discourse concerning F1, especially when dealing with the appearance of the cars.*

2009: Unveiling the Toyota, Ferrari, and McLaren



It's been three years since I really delved into the design of the Formula 1 cars planned for that season. But considering the horrors that we've seen so far this pre-season, I felt another detailing of car design was in order.

Let's start with Lotus...er, Caterham, who used to be Lotus, but now Renault is Lotus, because last year they were Lotus-Renault, but are now solely Lotus....moving on. Caterham became the first team to reveal their challenger for the 2012 season. The team has been progressing steadily. When they announced their entry into F1 in 2010, Heikki Kovalainen proclaimed it would be three season before they were competitive. Well, this is the team's third season, so let's see if their drive toward the midfield takes a step forward.

If races and points were won solely on looks, the Caterham would have to be disqualified. The 2012 regulations have forced changes to the car designs from last season, and one of the changes is the overall height of the chassis, especially at the low end. As a result of fitting these regs, the Caterham CT01 looks like...well..I don't know how to describe what it looks like. Just see it for yourself:
Just look at that nose. I understand the need to apply downforce, and I also understand the need for air to get under the car. That said, the nose looks like the victim of a horrible accident involving an anvil and a sledgehammer. The front wing is the same snowplow as prior years. Now I'm a fan of the color scheme and I really hope that Caterham gets some points this year. If the car is good enough, and the race breaks their way, they may eventually podium this season. But the car is scary.

Not to be outdone by the Caterham, Scuderia Ferrari unveiled their contender. It's red. That's about the only recognizable thing about the F2012. The Scuderia was hoping to unveil their car and give it a brief shakedown run at their Maranello test track, but heavy snow (as evidenced in the picture) prevented such a test.
The car has a similarly blunted nose like the Caterham CT01, but to me, this nose-step is even more pronounced, and therefore uglier, than the Caterham. In all fairness, Ferrari ruined my opinion of them when I first started following F1 in 2008. That said, I have liked some of their cars, but this one just does not do it for me. If more cars appear with that same nose, I guess I'll get used to it, but I'm disturbed by it for now. I actually emailed it to Robert over at Skewed View, under the Email Title "AAAHHHH!!!"

Force India, a team seemingly on the rise the last two seasons, also revealed their contender, the VMJ05.The car, in similar fashion to the Ferrari and the Caterham, has the blunted step-nose. The wheel base, like the regulation states, is shorter this year. Also, the side pods are all smaller this year than last. I've always kind of liked the Force India color scheme.

As always, Vodafone McLaren Mercedes delivered. They met the regulation, and passed the eye test...so far.
I've always said that McLaren produces the best looking cars. I love the chrome and the Rocket Red. If I had one issue with this season's MP4-27, it would be the wheels. I see the black wheels, and I think NASCAR. Chrome wheels would've worked better, and may yet appear. Also, the U-shaped sidepods of last season are gone. Those things really grew on me, after I hated them at first.

Remember, the final kit for these cars won't appear until the final test. Also, Lotus, Red Bull, Scuderia Toro Rosso, HRT, Marussia, and Mercedes still have to reveal their contenders as well. Look for more updates to the car unveiling ceremonies as we go along.

Formula 1 Preseason Test Calendar
1. February - 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th - Circuito Permanente de Jerez, Spain
2. February - 21st, 22nd, 23rd and 24th - Circuit de Catalunya, Barcelona, Spain
3. March - 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th - Circuit de Catalunya, Barcelona, Spain

Thursday, February 02, 2012

NFL Rumor & Formula 1

NFL Rumor (That I Made Up)

Peyton Manning, you know, the Manning brother who isn't playing in the Super Bowl, was cleared by two doctors to start playing again. His neck has healed and now the only thing standing in his way is regaining his arm strength. But, Indianapolis owes him $28 million if he stays for next year. Their other option...cut him. The reason they could cut Peyton is simple: the Colts have the #1 Pick in this April's NFL Draft. The prize: Andrew Luck, Stanford QB.

Now, conventional wisdom say that the Redskins, Dolphins, and Cardinals would all be interested in Peyton's services. But here's my rumor. It's not really a rumor, since I'm making it up as I go. What happens if Peyton stays in Indy? Here's what I think:

San Francisco offers QB Alex Smith, their 1st Round Pick (I think the 49ers are picking 29th or 30th), and their 1st Rounder next year to Indianapolis for this season's #1. That would put Andrew Luck back on the same team as his former coach, Jim Harbaugh. The Colts could then resign Peyton for a a short contract for now, plus pocket an extra first round pick and Alex Smith, a former #1 pick.

That's my rumor.

Formula 1 News

Vodafone McLaren Mercedes became the second F1 team to reveal their challenger for the 2012 campaign. The car is vastly different from their 2011 entry. The sidepods are streamlined, the snowplow-like front wing is changed, and the nose, like almost all other F1 cars this year, is not the most beautiful thing ever. McLaren, year in and year out, produces the best looking car. It remains to be seen if the car will be fast.