Monday, February 06, 2012

Formula 1 Car Unveilings 2012: The Uglier Truth

*This blog receives no financial compensation, nor does it seek financial compensation. I strive to remain unbiased in my discourse concerning F1, especially when dealing with the appearance of the cars. Sadly, my unbiased nature fell apart in this particular blog post.*

So, did McLaren Mercedes find a loophole that no one else figured out in order to avoid the hideous "step-nose," or will Charlie Whiting have some not-so-nice things to say to the Woking outfit when he arrive in Jerez for the first preseason test?

Four more cars have hit the market, so to say.

First up is the Lotus E20. Lotus, once the Renault F1 Team, and last year Lotus-Renault, rolled out yet another step-nose monstrosity.
The car maintains the black-gold livery with the completely out-of-place red wing and end plates bearing the TOTAL branding. And of course, the step-nose, bane of the F1 Fanatic this season. Lotus has a pulled what might be the PR coup of the year, bringing in the Iceman, Kimi Raikkonen, a former World Driver's Champion. They also have a still-recovering Robert Kubica in the wings. If those two ever teamed up, and Raikkonen returns to form, Lotus will have a formidable pairing.

Next on our list of horror is the Sauber C31.
Like everyone else except McLaren, Sauber has the step-nose. But for some reason, their step-nose actually looks worse than the others. This car is so ugly that Kamui Kobayashi has actually had to defend it in the press.

The step-nose really needs a name that conveys the insipid horror it truly is. For the rest of this blog post, I'll call Geoff.

Our third contender in "This Week in the Absolutely Horrid" is Scuderia Toro Rosso, the Red Bull B-Team. While Toro Rosso was once the "Team Named Sebastian," they are now the only-slightly-different-in-appearance team from their big brother, Red Bull.
The STR7 has a Geoff, just like everyone else. Scuderia Toro Rosso would love to return to the form of 2008, when Sebastian Vettel captured their maiden, and only, win at Monza. I'm not sure that they can pull it off with this equipment.

Finally, on our list for now, is the Constructor's Champion, and World Driver's Champion, Red Bull Renault.
The team released the RB8. Once again, it has a Geoff. Red Bull's Geoff is almost as badd as the Geoff on the Ferrari F2012. But Red Bull also has Adrian Newey, and that isn't a euphemism for a cruddy piece of auto-body design. Adrian Newey is a design genius. As long as he has an office in the Red Bull Renault Technology Center, you have to think that Red Bull is the Championship favorite.

Eventually people will realize just how terrible these regulations are, and will leave the Geoff Era of Formula 1 in the past. Until then, we have to tolerate Geoff.

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