The Wacky Year in Review: 2007

The last twelve months have provided us all with some memorable moments. The Right Wing has seen fit to catalog these moments for you, in a series of “Top” lists:

Top Ten Sports Moments
As judged by the Right Wing staff:
10. The release of the Mitchell Report, documenting steroid use in Major League Baseball. Former Senate Majority Leader Mitchell’s report lists some very high profile names like Roger Clemens, Mark McGwire, and others, as well as former Braves players David Justice and Paul Byrd. The lasting effects of Mitchell’s inquiry are yet to be seen.
9. The Saints go marching in all the way to the NFC Championship game against the Chicago Bears. The return of the Saints revitalized New Orleans and was a true feel-good story for what some viewed as a down year in the NFL.
8. Bonds sets the record for all time home runs, finally overtaking Hank Aaron’s long standing mark of 755. Bonds chase of history, though, was marred by allegations of steroid use (see the Mitchell report), and he drew the ire of fans across the nation, except in the Giants’ home in San Francisco.
7. College goes crazy, leaving everyone to wonder what could be next. From opening day, when Appalachian State knocked off Michigan in Ann Arbor, to the last day of the regular season, when the top two ranked teams both lost on the same day, this season was one that most football fans will never forget.
6. Boise State stands tall for the non-BCS conferences. The Broncos won an invite to the Fiesta Bowl and managed to shock highly ranked Oklahoma with a series of trick plays that still show up on the highlight reels almost a year later.
5. The Colorado Rockies shock the world by reaching the World Series in dramatic fashion, becoming one of the hottest teams in baseball entering the fall classic. The Rockies were crushed by the Boston Red Sox, who won their second World Series title in four years.
4. Mark Richt goes Jekyll and Hyde on us, changing from the mild-mannered coach of yesterday to the pumped-up, charismatic coach of the Dawgs future. Around the halfway point of the season, coming off a brutal loss to Tennessee, Richt had his team draw a celebration penalty on their first TD against hated rival Florida, and then busted out the black jerseys for the Auburn game. The Dawgs responded by putting up 40+ points in both games, winning easily.
3. Doping allegations fly all around, hitting Tour de France winner Floyd Landis, and many other high profile athletes, most in the Track and Field area. This era of sports is sure to be remembered as the Steroid Era.
2. Kevin Everett. If ever there was a inspirational story, this is it. Everett was injured very early in the season. He was making a tackle and the player he was tackling hit him in such a way that it caused serious damage to Everett’s neck and spine. It was feared initially that the injury was life threatening, and then it was thought that Everett would never walk again. Everett now walks into the rehab center for therapy every week.
1. Trinity College, a Division III school defeated Millsaps College on a last second play reminiscent of “The Play” between Cal and Stanford. Trinity performed over fifteen laterals on one play to score the game winning touchdown.

Top Two Scariest Moments in Politics
As judged by the Right Wing Staff:
2. Hugo pushes for longer terms. Hugo Chavez, Venezuelan President and noted America hater, pushed for Constitutional Amendments that would allow him to serve as President for Life. He even took over a TV station to tell the people that if they did not vote “YES” for these amendments they were disloyal to the nation. The Amendments, thankfully, failed.
1. Vlad impales the Russian Government in one of the scariest political moves in history, Russian President Vladimir Putin announced that he had single-handedly dismissed a large portion of the Russian Government, clearing the path for those loyal to him to rise into powerful position. Putin’s reign as President was drawing to an end, but he also announced that he was going to run for the position of Prime Minister.

Top Three Moments in Entertainment
As judged by the Right Wing Staff:
3. Movies: Good or Bad? It was the year of extremes in Hollywood. Some movies, released to great fanfare, failed miserably. Others, released to little or no noise at all, found a niche in the marketplaced. (See top five movies of 2007)
2. The writer’s strike slows down Hollywood. The striking writer’s union brings Tinseltown to a stand-still, leaving many shows confused as to their own endings. Disgruntled fans of these shows have already started scouring the internet with angst-filled rhetoric.
1. The Sopranos blacks out, leaving many viewers in the dark as to what actually happened. The final scene showed Tony sitting with his family in a diner, and then suddenly cuts to black. Internet discussion claimed that Tony had been killed; others said that Tony won the day by surviving, and others claimed that the producers were the most sick and twisted people alive by not revealing what happened.

Top Five Movies of 2007
As judged by the Right Wing Staff:
5. Spider-Man 3 A bit slow compared to the previous two in the series.
4. The Simpsons Movie Funnier than the show has been in years.
3. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End Great film, nice conclusion to the trilogy, but did leave a nice opening for a sequel.
2. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Well executed, considering that over 800-pages of book were condensed into 138 minutes of film. Really showed the darkness creeping into the Potter saga.
1. Hot Fuzz Best Film of the Year. From the creators of Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz brought to the table everything you’d expect in a buddy-cop-action-thriller movie. I’ll say it again, from the moment the old lady gets dropkicked in the face, you will not stop laughing.

Oh yeah:

Football Future-see Bowl Edition

BCS National Championship Game
LSU vs. Ohio State
The Match-up: LSU has been to the top of the heap twice this year, and both times the Tigers have stumbled, albeit in triple overtime each occasion. Ohio State happened to be number one on the day that counted. The Buckeyes played one of the weakest non-conference schedules in the nation, yet that made no difference with the voters. Last season Ohio State was favored against an SEC team that people said didn’t belong. Florida slaughtered the Buckeyes 41-14. Look for a possible repeat; LSU wins the National Title.
LSU 31, Ohio State 21

Rose Bowl:
Illinois vs. USC
The Match-up: For the last two weeks everyone in the nation thought the Rose Bowl would break tradition and take Georgia against USC. But, in a not so stunning move, the Fighting Illini are headed to sunny Pasadena to be crushed under the Trojan’s boot heel. Ron Zook’s Illinois team has turned their program around in the last two seasons, but USC is a different caliber team than any they’ve faced this season. Trojans roll.
USC 45, Illinois 17

Orange Bowl:
Virginia Tech vs. Kansas
The Match-up: Last week no one was sure if Kansas would get a BCS Bowl, or if they were destined for the Cotton Bowl. Now, the Jayhawks are headed for a collision with the ACC Champion Hokies. VaTech has been a true roller coaster team this year, winning their conference but losing to LSU by 41 points. Kansas played far better than anyone expected, and this BCS berth proves it. Look for a good game between fairly equal teams.
Kansas 24, Virginia Tech 20

Sugar Bowl:
Georgia vs. Hawai’i
The Match-up: The battle of at-large teams comes to New Orleans. This is the third time in the BCS era that UGA has gone to the Sugar Bowl. They beat FSU 26-13, and lost to West Virginia 38-35. Hawai’i makes their first ever BCS appearance. Matthew Stafford has progressed into the QB Georgia was looking for. Colt Brennan has broken almost every passing record in the NCAA, and ESPN has said that Georgia has yet to face a passing attack like Hawai’i brings to the table. Hawai’i, though, has yet to face a defense like the Dawgs. This may come down to special teams, and Mikey Henderson is one of the best return-men in the nation.
Georgia 34, Hawai’i 24

Fiesta Bowl:
West Virginia vs. Oklahoma
The Match-up: Oklahoma went into the Fiesta Bowl last year with hopes of a BCS win. Those dreams were crushed by Boise State, whose arsenal of trick plays caught the Sooners off guard and set the tone for a WAC BCS victory. West Virginia, by all accounts, is better than Boise State. WVU also lost last weekend to Pitt. Oklahoma has a better defense than Pitt. Watch for the Sooner D to keep Slaton and White in check.
Oklahoma 27, West Virginia 13.

The Other Bowl Games Predicted:
Poinsettia Bowl: Navy 30, Utah 20
New Orleans Bowl: Memphis 17, Florida Atlantic 10
Papjohns.com Bowl: Cincinnati 31, Southern Miss 17
New Mexico Bowl: New Mexico 24, Nevada 22
Las Vegas Bowl: BYU 27, UCLA 19
Hawai’i Bowl: Boise State 39, East Carolina 10
Motor City Bowl: Purdue 28, Central Michigan 20
Holiday Bowl: Arizona State 26, Texas 25
Champ Sports Bowl: Boston College 30, Michigan State 21
Texas Bowl: TCU 17, Houston 10
Emerald Bowl: Oregon State 24, Maryland 13
Meineke Car Care Bowl: Wake Forest 26, UConn 12
Liberty Bowl: Central Florida 44, Mississippi State 27
Alamo Bowl: Texas A&M 31, Penn State 26
Independence Bowl: Alabama 17, Colorado 14
Armed Forces Bowl: California 34, Air Force 31
Humanitarian Bowl: Fresno State 24, Georgia Tech 17
Sun Bowl: South Florida 28, Oregon 13
Music City Bowl: Kentucky 34, Florida State 17
Insight Bowl: Oklahoma State 42, Indiana 10
Chick-fil-A Bowl: Auburn 28, Clemson 20
Outback Bowl: Tennessee 30, Wisconsin 21
Cotton Bowl: Arkansas 24, Missouri 21
Gator Bowl: Texas Tech 45, Virginia 20
Capital One Bowl: Florida 31, Michigan 19


A Completely Unwarranted Look Ahead
2008 Pre-Pre-Season Top Ten (You know it doesn’t count for much when this Pre-Season Top Ten is out before the Last Season is officially over)
1. LSU
2. USC
3. Oklahoma
4. Georgia
5. West Virginia
6. Florida
7. Ohio State
8. Virginia Tech
9. Oregon
10. South Florida

Randomocity

1. So someone deserves to die because they named a teddy bear Mohammed? Peaceful religion, eh? A few years back someone in New York put a crucifix in a jar of urine and it was called art, you didn't see mobs take to the streets demanding the artist die, did you?

2. Hostage crisis at Hillary Headquarters. I truly hope no one was hurt, but I'm also waiting for Hillary to play the "Pity my Campaign" card over this one. If you think that's harsh, too bad.

3. As bad as everything is in the world today, I'm actually happy. I think I know why...

4. I'm going to try and briefly describe the possible outcomes of this college football season's race to the BCS: If Missouri and West Virigina both win today, they play for the national title. If Missouri wins and West Virginia loses, then Mizzou plays Ohio State for the national title, WVU likely goes to the Fiest Bowl against Oklahoma or Kansas, Georgia plays Boston College in the Orange Bowl assuming BC wins the ACC, if VaTech wins the ACC Georgia could land in the Rose Bowl against USC. Bowls notoriously dislike rematches from the previous year. If West Virginia wins and Missouri loses, then WVU and Ohio State play for the national title. If WVU and Mizzou both fall, and if Tennessee drops LSU in the SEC Title Game, then Georgia could play Ohio State for the national title. If LSU wins the SEC and WVU and Mizzou both lose then LSU plays Ohio State for the national Title, Georgia then goes to the Sugar Bowl, likely against Hawai'i. If you aren't thoroughly confused, then props to you. If Tennessee wins the SEC, WVU wins, and Mizzou wins, then Georgia is a lock for either the Rose or Orange Bowls, again depending on who wins the ACC. The vital piece of information here is whether or not the Rose Bowl is willing to part with tradition and go for the best possible match-up. If they go traditional, you'll see USC against either Ohio State or Illinois. If they go for the best match-up, you'll see USC against Georgia (and I'm not saying that because I love the Dawgs, watch ESPN) So here are your end of the regular season BCS projections:
National Title Game: West Virginia vs. Ohio State
Fiesta Bowl: Missouri vs. Arizona State
Orange Bowl: Virginia Tech vs. Kansas
Rose Bowl: USC vs. Georgia
Sugar Bowl: LSU vs. Hawai'i

5. The Great Water Shortage of 2007

The Year of the Drought. That sums up 2007 for most of the southeast, and especially North Georgia. We’re over 20 inches behind on average rainfall this year, meaning that most area lakes are down anywhere from ten to twenty feet. But the drought has taught us lessons, and not necessarily about water conservation, but more about the operations of the Army Corp of Engineers.

This Cracker Jack group of guys notices the rapid pace at which Lake Lanier is dropping. Note before we go any further that Lake Lanier services a fairly large area with water. So the lake level is dropping fast. The key to saving water here is to limit the number of releases, and the duration of releases, at Buford Dam. Does the Corp of Engineers follow this example? No.

They maintained the regular release schedule for a rapidly disappearing lake. Their reason: fresh water mussels living on the Apalachicola River in Florida. I will repeat that. Their reason: fresh water mussels living on the Apalachicola River in Florida. It sounds even worse the second time.

Apparently, releasing water from Lake Lanier causes the water level on the Apalachicola River to rise. When the river level rises the mussels nest higher on the banks, and then when the water level goes down the mussels suffocate and die.

Now, maybe I’m not in the proper tree-hugging sacrifice my life for a squirrel mindset here, but it seems a tad bit ridiculous to take water away from a place that isn’t getting rain and sending it to a place that, although also in a drought has still received more rain than North Georgia.

But, the fresh water mussel industry must be maintained. Guess it's time for North Georgia to invest heavily in Dasani.

Quick Hit: Football Future-see record

Hi gang,
The college football regular season is nearly over, and as far as the Right Wing is concerned, it is. No more Future-see until bowl season rolls around.

Counting every score we predicted, in terms of winner and loser, the prediction staff here went 34-23 over the course of the season, a winning percents of .596, I think. Anyway, it's not bad for some guys who can't do math.

So, once we know who is in which bowl, the final Future-see will appear, predicting each bowl game.

Bye, gang.

Robert Hates Everything

The Internet responds to Robert's withdrawal:

I've been thinking a bit tonight about how Robert over at Skewed is pulling away from the internet. He claims that people should get in touch with him the old fashioned way, as friends are supposed to do, by calling him. Which is all well and good, except that Robert lives in Blairsville, the middle of east bumble, quite literally nowhere. That's long distance for most of his so-called friends. And email? IF Robert actually did check his email this would be a viable option. I'm looking through it now and there's unanswered crap in there from 2002. Oh well, it's his life I guess. If he wants to leave the internet, let him go.

No, no no no. This is an intervention. No one wants to see such a promising young online career go belly-up so quickly.

We're all your friends. We don't want to see you get hurt. Now that you're taking your frustration out on AIM, the poor program just can't handle it. Play nice, please.

Besides, pulling away so quickly isn't healthy. Studies have shown that "cold turkey" is bad for your way of life. What's so bad about Facebook or MySpace anyway, we're just networking tools. We can't help it if the programmer sells your info, we're just pawns in the evil game of life.

Robert, listen to me. I'm not a program, I'm a possibility. If you run away from the internet, you'll never get to play online games, or multi-player games like World of Warcraft. Also, how exactly are you going to check email without getting online, eh? So we're asking... please don't leave the internet.

Post Turkey Day Exertion

I'm at work, or more precisely sitting here at my desk waiting for one person to show up so that I can shut down the shop and go back home. I just got off the phone with Robert, and I learned that Skewed View is pulling the plug on their Facebook connection.

I also learned that Grubbs had to go in to work at roughly 3 am today. Which brings me to Black Friday. This is the evil day when everyone wants to go shopping for some ungodly reason. No one stays home, save the sane people of the world. I had to work today, because people want to move and they need rental trucks to do so.

But the thought process behind Black Friday is bothersome to me. Studies would probably show that more people suffer anger issues, heart problems, increases in blood pressure, and quite possibly crimes of passion (in the loose sense of the word passion) on this particular day. You just know that somewhere, someone is fighting someone else over the last Tickle-me Elmo doll in Toys-R-Us.

This post Thanksgiving day of rage doesn't exactly bring out the best in humanity. Thankfully, fot those among us with the slightest touch of sanity, the fact that we can go home, eat some leftovers, sit down in a nice plushy recliner and watch some college football later... well, that comes real close to Heaven on Earth.

New Topics for the Right Wing:

1. Dr. Who. I never watched this show before a couple of weeks ago. I can now say that it is the most amazing thing I've seen in years.

2. Crazy Football. That's all you can say. When Kansas and Missouri both have a decent chance at playing for the national championship... yeah, words don't even describe.

3. Standing up to Darth Jespersen. I made a comment in class the other day about an even in Japan, and I said "We all could've went." Jespersen, in front of the class, calls me out and says "Shouldn't it be 'we all could've gone'?" I replied, "Well, I was using the dialectical speech, something I assumed you as a writer would be familiar with." To which he said, "Well, you got me there."

4. Sterilization to save humanity. An "eco-warrior" has sterilized herself, because she claims that "Having children is selfish. It's all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet." Just when you thought the global warming nuts couldn't go any further, they now say that having babies is selfish.

Next year should be fun... wait, we've still got a month to go on this year. Fantastic.

Football Future-see End-of-Year SUPERsized Edition

(11) USC at (6) Arizona State: USC is so good they have two number 1s beside their name now. Actually, the Trojans are having a down year while the rest of the PAC-10 is on the rise. C’mon, USC, you lost to Stanford, you can’t expect too great of a bowl. Meanwhile, the Sun Devils are quietly having one of the best years in school history. If this game was in LA the outcome might be different, but Tempe is no easy place to win now. Arizona State 25, USC 21.

Arkansas at (1) LSU: The Tigers need a solid win. They need to put down McFadden and the Razorbacks, and then knock off whoever goes from the SEC East, to lock up a spot in New Orleans on January 7. Arkansas needs a big win to bolster their standing in the eyes of the pollsters. Darren McFadden is making his case for Heisman, but it doesn’t look to be enough to top LSU. Tigers 31, Razorbacks 17.

(7) Georgia at Georgia Tech: Mark Richt’s Bulldogs hold a six game winning streak over the Jackets, meaning that Chan Gailey is 0-5 against the Dawgs since taking over at Tech. This game means nothing to the Dawgs SEC hopes, but to the fans, this is a must win every year; it’s nothing but pure, old-fashioned hate between these two. Georgia needs an impressive win to ensure, at the very least, a trip to New Orleans on January 1. The Sugar Bowl is already looking toward Athens as an at-large team. Some people are saying this will be a close game. The Right Wing doesn’t see it that way. Georgia wins 34-14.

(19) Boise State at (15) Hawai’i: The only reason a WAC game appears on the Future-see is because of its bowl implications. The Sugar Bowl would love to match up Hawai’i and Georgia. Boise State wants to get back to a BCS bowl. If Colt Brennan is healthy Hawai’i’s offense is as good as any in the country. But Brennan has been banged up lately. Boise State brings a good team to the table every year. Everything points to this game being an offensive shoot-out, which means the defenses will show up. Hawai’i takes a close one 28-24.

(8) Virginia Tech at (16) Virginia: Boston College awaits the winner of this game in the ACC Title game. VaTech has yet to be truly impressive this year. Frank beamer appears to have taken on the old Mark Richt approach of “do just enough to win.” Al Groh is poised to finally take Virginia to the next level. As ACC games go, this one should be fun to watch. Virginia in an upset 20-18.

(18) Tennessee at Kentucky: Georgia will be watching this game with great interest. Should the Wildcats knock off Tennessee the Dawgs would play LSU for the SEC Title. Neyland stadium is a tough place to play, perhaps the toughest in the SEC. But this game isn’t in Neyland. Also, the Vols have beaten Kentucky 23 or 24 straight times. But this isn’t the Kentucky of two years ago. Georgia had scored 40 points or more in three straight games until Kentucky held them to a mere 24. The Vols want to play for an SEC Title. Kentucky wants to position itself for a good bowl game. Close game, but look for another upset. Kentucky 26, Tennessee 24.

Other Score Predictions:
Auburn 17, Alabama 10
Texas 27, Texas A&M 21
Kansas 24, Missouri 21 (OT)
Clemson 40, South Carolina 28
Oklahoma 17, Oklahoma State 15
Florida 35, Florida State 14

Suggestions for improving college football (not that any of these will ever happen):
1. The Big Ten needs to add another team, preferably Notre Dame. The conference could then form two 6-team divisions and have a championship game. The desirable conference line-ups would be:
Hayes Division: Ohio State, Indiana, Illinois, Purdue, Michigan State, Northwestern
Schembechler Division: Michigan, Penn State, Wisconsin, Notre Dame, Minnesota, Iowa
The Championship game could be played in the RCA Dome in Indianapolis.

2. The PAC-10 should recruit Boise State and Hawai’i in the conference. The PAC-10 would then be the PAC-12, with two 6-team divisions, likely as follows:
PAC-12 North: Boise State, Washington, Washington State, Oregon, Oregon State, Cal
PAC-12 South: USC, Stanford, Arizona, Arizona State, Hawai’i, UCLA
The Championship Game could be played in Las Vegas every year.

3. College basketball has a thing every year called the ACC-Big Ten challenge, where teams from each conference face off against one another over a weekend. This would be amazing for college football, just imagine. The SEC-Big XII challenge. LSU vs. Oklahoma. Florida vs. Texas. Georgia vs. Kansas. Tennessee vs. Missouri. Alabama vs. Texas Tech. Auburn vs. Oklahoma State. South Carolina vs. Texas A&M. Kentucky vs. Colorado. Vanderbilt vs. Baylor. Ole Miss vs. Iowa State. Mississippi State vs. Kansas State. Arkansas vs. Nebraska. It would be amazing.

4. A Plus-One System. The top four BCS teams face each other in revolving bowl games each year. One plays four, two plays three. The winners meet in the National Championship game. It’s the closest DI will get to a playoff.

5. Could the SEC trade Vanderbilt to the ACC for Clemson and then trade Ole Miss to the Big XII for Oklahoma State. (This one was pitched to me by a friend, I’m not sure if it is viable at all.)

6. Bowl affiliations bother me. I don’t think it’s right that only certain conferences can go to certain bowls. You’re telling me that, if Ohio State went 8-4, but won the Big Ten, they deserve to be in the Rose Bowl more than a one-loss team from either the Big XII or the SEC. Wrong.

For the Hundredth Time...

(7) Ohio State at (21) Michigan: This is the first time in years that both of these teams enter this game off a loss. Ohio State was upset by Illinois and Michigan fell to Wisconsin. Still, with both teams losing, this game decides the Big Ten championship. Ohio State had their perfect season ruined by the Illini, and Big Blue, who had fought so valiantly to overcome losses to Appalachian State and Oregon saw their hopes dashed by the Badgers. A win likely puts either team in the Rose Bowl, probably against Oregon or Arizona State. Michigan knows how to beat Ohio State, if they watched the film. Pressure the QB, which Michigan has been inconsistent on this year. It’s close, but the Right Wing is calling for the upset. Big Blue wins in the Big House, 27-25.

(17) Boston College at (15) Clemson: This game decides one half of the ACC Championship game match-up. The Winner of BC/Clemson plays the winner of Virginia/VaTech. Matt Ryan and BC and fallen hard lately, dropping from 2 to 17 in two weeks. Clemson is trying to assert dominance in the ACC, a once powerful conference that has faltered in recent years. This game is at Clemson, which favors the Tigers. The fans will be purple and orange and loud, which favors the Tigers. All of this means Boston College will win, right? Maybe. This is the hardest game to predict this week, because the teams are fairly even. Clemson has the advantage of home field; BC has the motivation of two losses. Even if BC wins and doesn’t make the title game, there’s something to be said for conquering Death Valley. Tigers take it, though, 24-17.

(23) Kentucky at (9) Georgia: Kentucky has a hard time stopping the run, and if there’s one thing the Dawgs do well, it is run the ball. Knowshon Moreno is making a case for Freshman of the Century, piling up number not seen since the early 1980s. Kentucky has one of the nation’s best QBs in Andre Woodson, a likely first round pick in April, but lately Kentucky has been on-again-off-again offensively. Georgia still has dreams of and SEC Title Game berth, but the Sugar Bowl is already eyeing the Dawgs as an at large team. Georgia has put up 40 points or more in their last three games, hanging 42 on Florida, 44 on Troy and 45 on Auburn. Kentucky beat Georgia last year, making this a bit of a revenge game. Dawgs roll, 41-21.

Vanderbilt at (20) Tennessee: Anyone who says the SEC East is down this year is either a PAC-10 homer or an Ohio State grad. Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida are playing as well as any other teams in the nation. Tennessee controls their own destiny, they need only win out and they play LSU for the SEC Title. Should UT lose and UGA win out, the Dawgs play for said title. Vandy is looking to play spoiler on somebody this year. They nearly took down Georgia a month ago, and beating the Vols would be a signature win for the school. Every Georgia fan is praying for the upset. Vanderbilt will have to be sharp, as Neyland Stadium is one of the hardest spots for the road team to win. Vols take it, but Vandy makes it close, 24-21.

(4) Oklahoma at Texas Tech: Well, Number 2 Oregon has already lost this week, who’s to say Number 4 can’t go down as well. Graham Harrell commands one of the nation’s most powerful offenses in the Texas Tech Red Raiders. Oklahoma could be caught looking forward to a match-up with either Kansas or Missouri in the Big XII title game. Scoring is up in the Big XII, as four teams have gone over 70 points at least one time this season. Look for a high scoring shootout, and as much as we want to call for an upset, Oklahoma looks to be too strong. Sooners 45, Red Raiders 39.

So, for a quick off the cuff prediction segment, we’re going to call the BCS Bowls right now:

Orange Bowl:
Clemson vs. West Virginia

Sugar Bowl:
Georgia vs. Hawai’i

Fiesta Bowl:
Kansas vs. USC

Rose Bowl:
Arizona State vs. Michigan

National Championship Game:
LSU vs. Oklahoma

A Few Random Thoughts to Celebrate 100 Posts:

-The Right Wing is proud to announce the candidate we support for President in 2008. It’s someone that really deserves the job, a candidate who has distanced themselves from all the rest. That person is… no one. There is not a single candidate worthy of the job.

-Skewed may have more posts, but at least we don’t flash children’s heroes… ahem… Fred.

-My last post was better than this one, but it turns out I do have a readership. Yeah!

99: Not My Computer

I'm sitting in the Great Room, typing on a computer that isn't mine, hence the title of this post. This is the first official Right Wing post ever typed completely on a laptop, meaning it's slighty better than the rest, also, we're on the cusp of the 100th Post in our history. Robert over at Skewed made a huge deal about his 100th post and Fred tore him a new one for it. Well, the only person here that could've said anything about our celebration is Sanjay, and as you know, Sanjay is still MIA.

So, onto the celebration. Our first thought here at The Right Wing was what we've accomplished over the course of these 99 posts. We started with some wacky stuff about politics, and some fairly mean-spirited stuff about Ray Nagin. Lately, we've been on a kick about predicting football outcomes (and failing miserably I might add). During that time, Sanjay appeared, brnging with him the Greater Good, a desire for mankind to make the world a little better for everone else.

It was just brought to my attention by the person whose computer I'm using that (though not by her, if that makes any sense) that my blog actully has a readership of somewhere between zero and nought, and that I'm therefore writing merely because I enjoy writing, If this is true, then too bad, I'm gonna keep doing it.

What else do I want to talk about.... oh, that's right, HOCKEY! The greatest sport rolls on, and you really should see it. She whose laptop I'm using went to her first game Saturday last and she was more excited than I was. It was a blast.

Life, it seems, goes on unburdened. Apparently, the purpose of a blog is to reveal your deepest, mostest intimate secret to the world. Mine is this: I love socks. They keep your feet warm, which is really all a person can ask for, if you think about it...

Or can a person ask for more? Expect more? Sure, but I don't take myself seriously enough to worry about it. It doesn't depress me to not take myself seriously... If more of the people who had taken themselves seriously had not taken themselves seriously the world would be a much better place. Prime example: Suicide bombers. If suicide bombers took themselves less seriously, they wouldn't pack explosives, they would pack confetti. Instead of dangerous, shrapnel filled explosions, the guy would stand up on a crowded bus, scream, pull a cord, and brightly colored scraps of paper would rain down on everyone. The only way that situation is funnier... muppets.

Really, mppets make everything funnier. Think of something horrifying, a plane crash, for instance. Now, think of it with muppets.

Well, that's it, I'm out of ideas. And I'm beautiful... wait, did I just lose control of my own blog? Maybe. Oh well. Goodnight, and may God bless.

Football Future-see Once More

(12) Michigan at Wisconsin: Wisconsin is no easy place to play, but Big Blue has its sights set on a Big Ten title. The problem with the Big Ten is easily solved: Notre Dame needs to give up its independent status and join the conference, allowing for a Big Ten title game. There are a lot of good teams in the Big Ten, a title game is only logical. The divisions wouldn’t have to be geographical either; you could have the Hayes Division and the Schembechler Division. But in this game, Michigan knows what it needs to do. Wisconsin is good, but just not good enough. Wolverines take a close one, 27-23.

Wake Forest at (21) Clemson: Riley Skinner is one of the best quarterbacks you’ve never heard of. He’ll lead the Demon Deacons into Clemson looking to upset the purple and orange. I’m no Clemson fan, but watching the Tigers run down the hill into the stadium is one of the best sights in the game. Wake is trying to make noise again in the ACC, they are defending conference champs, but Clemson would like an ACC title, and at this point they control their own destiny in the division. Look for the Tigers to win 24-21, but don’t be surprised if Skinner pulls the upset.

(18) Auburn at (10) Georgia: The oldest rivalry in the south. Often, the team with the most to lose in this game does just that. Last year Auburn was number 5 in the nation and dreaming of a national title berth, but Georgia, who had lost 4 of their 5, rolled in and crushed the Tigers 37-15. This season Georgia is on track for a shot at the Conference title and Auburn would love to ruin that for the Dawgs. But Georgia has a weapon that people are just now learning about: Knowshon Moreno. Moreno is over 1,000 yards rushing on the year, something only one other freshman in UGA history has done, a guy named Herschel. Georgia needs this more than Auburn, and they stand a good chance, but it’ll be close. Dawgs win 31-28.

(15) Florida at South Carolina: Spurrier welcomes his old team into Gamecock Country. Florida is coming off a tough loss to Georgia, and Tebow could very well still be roughed up. South Carolina lost their shot at the SEC title game by losing to Tennessee a couple of weeks back. Florida suffered a string of stinging losses. The Gators will bounce back, but they’re too far out of the game, and too much has to go their way, to reach the title game in Atlanta. Gators win, 34-18.

Arkansas at (24) Tennessee: UT has the inside track in the SEC East. All they have to do is win out. To do so, however, the Vols must stop Darren McFadden, who is looking to reestablish himself in the Heisman race. The old SEC scenario played out again this year, Georgia beat Florida, Florida beat Tennessee, and Tennessee beat Georgia, but thanks to South Carolina and Kentucky, the East remained wide open. Tennessee controls their destiny; Arkansas has a chance to play spoiler in the East. Here’s your upset, the Razorbacks ride into Neyland and knock off the Vols 26-22.

Shantytown

Last night was Shantytown, the annual event to raise money for Habitat for Humanity. Of course, jocularity ensues when you get that many college students together with that much duct tape, cardboard, and spray paint.

I wasn't part of the event itself, but I did donate some money and, with some friends, bought a lot and constructed a shanty. It was a good, clear night, perfect for stargazing. Colin and I noted at least two satellites, which was kinda awesome.

Once the actual shanty was done we realized that we had nearly half our cardboard left over. Davis proceeded to build a tower, which I eventually ended up in. By tower, I mean he stacked six boxes on top of each other, leaving the inside completely open. If you've never been in a cardboard box tower, it's loads of fun. Especially when you know you're going to fall, all the better.

It took about ten minutes for me to finally fall and nearly kill myself. I got some help from Colin, who, as it happens, was NOT in a cardboard box tower. I stayed on the ground for a couple of minutes, laughing so hard I thought I might vomit. Just kidding, but it was funny. Don't worry, Michele took pictures, and they'll probably show up at some point.

The evening wore on and the band kept playing. The intoxicating scent of spray paint fumes filled the air and nearly caused Lauren to pass out. A few shooting stars later it was time to depart. I'm glad I was there.

Football Future-see Returns

(4) Arizona State at (5) Oregon: Oregon surprised me last week by beating USC, and this week they face Arizona State, who is coming off a crushing win over Cal. Look for Oregon’s QB Dennis Dixon to have a good day. The Ducks will be tested, but I think they’ll overcome. Oregon wins 31-20.

Florida State at (2) Boston College: BC is coming off a big come from behind win over VaTech. Matt Ryan is making a Heisman push. FSU is searching for respect in the ACC. BC is too good for the Seminoles, though. Boston College 28, Florida State 13.

Troy at (10) Georgia: The Dawgs rocked Florida last week, and ticked off everyone by celebrating. This week, not-quite pushover Troy rolls into Athens. Troy put 30 points on the Gators. Georgia put 42. Look for something similar, Dawgs win 37-18.

(21) Wisconsin at (1) Ohio State: If this game were in Wisconsin, then the prediction might be different, but the Badgers are going to OSU, and it won’t be easy. The Buckeyes haven’t really been tested yet, and it is still the belief here that they will lose. This game isn’t it. Ohio State 24, Wisonsin 17.

(3) LSU at (17) Alabama: LSU is good. Alabama is good. LSU wants a shot to play for the National Championship in their own backyard. ‘Bama is looking for that signature win of the Saban era. Don’t get too happy, Tide. LSU rolls 34-14

Post 95: A Thesis

Not really. It just sounded like fun.

Anyway, I haven't been around much lately, mostly because of school. I'll say this about last week's Football predictions: I've never been so happy to get three out of five right. Georgia stomped Florida for a change, and Oregon proved that USC is no longer the power they once were.

In other news, the NGCSU Halloween Dance was last night, and I decided at the last minute that I wanted to go. Well, go I did, in a costume thrown together at the last minute, which worked wonders. I was Dr. House. I even went by RiteAid and picked up an empty, unlabeled prescription bottle and put M & Ms in it; this was my Vicodin. It also allowed me to be snarky without being a pest, which was fun. I had my dad's wooden cane. The handle is a dragon's head with a marble in it's mouth and gold eyes, and the shaft is dark brown with a maroon dragon breathing fire on it. Very nice. Hopefully, pictures will surface soon.

The dance was fun, if you like looking at nearly naked college girls bumping and grinding. The evening was a blast. I was with friends and friends are always good.

So there you have it. I wish I could do more, but I'm full of hunger.

Football Future-see returns

We took last week off to simmer down, but now we're back.

(2) Boston College at (8) Virginia Tech: Boston College has looked promising this year, but then again so has LSU, USC, South Florida, Cal, Texas, Oklahoma, and any other top ten team that has been beat. VaTech would love to pull out a win here, but Matt Ryan has the Eagles flying high. BC wins 24-18.

(1) Ohio State at (25) Penn State: Everyone is telling Ohio State to watch out, which tells me that Ohio State is in NO danger whatsoever. Penn State is good, but the upset bug has been talked about too much in this case. Buckeyes over Nittany Lions, 21-17.

(11) Florida at (18) Georgia: The World's Largest Outdoor Family Fun No Alcohol Here game. Tebow has the Gators on a roll. I'd love to see UGA win, but I just don't see it this year. Gators take it, but closer than most people think. UF 31, UGA 26.

(12) USC at (5) Oregon: Oregon is good, but four of their top five receivers are either hurt or suspended. USC is playing their backup QB in this game, again. Don't look for either team to play much defense. USC 37, Oregon 34.

(16) South Carolina at Tennessee: There's trouble on Rocky Top for the old ball coach. Tennessee has been playing fairly good football since their loss to Florida, but last week's 41-17 drubbing at the hands of Saban and the Tide has left a bad taste in their mouths. And what better to get rid of a bad taste than chicken? Spurrier is going to UT at the wrong time, Vols win 30-13.

Football Future-see Episode VI

We're trying to carry on here at The Right Wing, even though Sanjay's whereabouts are still highly undetermined.

So, in the spirit of carrying on, we present part 6 of our football prediction show. We're picking five college games each week, and after five weeks our record is a fairly impressive 16-9.

(4) Boston College at Notre Dame: ND finally won last week, and Boston College is going places on Doug Flutie took them to. BC QB Matt Ryan is a Heisman candidate, and a darn good one. Notre Dame's offense sputters into this contest, revealing that the Fightin' Irish don't have enough to take down the boys from the great Northeast, BC wins 31-13.

Central Florida at (5) South Florida: The way this season is going, Central Florida is going to crush USF, or the Bulls are going to win the BCS Title. UCF took Texas to the final minutes of the game before losing by three, but I don't see them as having enough in this game. South Florida wins 26-21.

(24) Georgia at Vanderbilt: Vandy beat the Dawgs last year, but that was last year. Georgia's mad about the thorough beating handed to them on Rocky Top. The Commodores would like to take home two straight wins over UGA, but I don't see it happening. Dawgs win 30-17.

(1) LSU at (17) Kentucky: UK's field general, Andre Woodson, is perhaps the best QB in the nation. He goes up against the nation's number 1 defense in LSU. The Tigers are undefeated, and they stay that way, winning narrowly, 27-24.

(22) Auburn at Arkansas: It seems like I put Auburn on upset alert every week, right? Well, here we go again. The Razorbacks need a big win, and this looks like it. Arkansas 31, Auburn 30.

Sanjay: An Update

The Right Wing offices received a call about 10:30 last night from the Las Vegas Police Department. According to the officer, some of Sanjay's belongings were found in a vacant lot about a half-mile off the Strip. They found a cell phone, his shoes, and a Post-It note that read: "meet retsderf." Also found in the area was a a red sock, a black shoelace, and a torn picture of Ronald McDonald sitting on what looks like a park bench.

Sanjay, we hope all is well.

Video Game Soundtracking

I've always liked to listen to music while playing games, especially if I'm not a huge fan of the game's music. Super Mario 64, while one of my favorite games, had some of my least favorite music. I would always play some CD while playing this game, and I even had favorite songs for certain levels. What follows is my Super Mario 64 soundtrack.

Bob-omb Battlefield: Death Defied by Will by Eagle-Eye Cherry- Great song, good to start off the game, as everything is geared to kill you, and it's only by rushing headlong into the danger that you can survive.
Whomp's Fortress: Clumsy by Our Lady Peace- I'm a big OLP fan, and this song soothes me, especially in this level, especially considering that many of the stars in this level are balanced over death-filled drops.
Jolly Roger Bay: Ruby Soho by Rancid- Good, solid punk song with a few moments of rest, very symbolic of this stage of the game.
Cool-Cool Mountain: Christmas Eve Sarajevo by Trans-Siberian Orchestra- Best Christmas song ever (well, maybe not) and it fits this level to perfection.
Bowser Battle #1: I'm Sorry by Blink 182- The first Bowser battle requires an upbeat sad song, because the level is precarious, dark, and depressing.
Big Boo's Haunt: Sex & Candy by Marcy Playground - You've heard this song, and you know it. It's one of the most recognizable soungs from the 1990s, and it's haunting melody goes hand-in-hand with the Haunt.
Hazy Maze Cave: Jesus Nightlight by Eve 6 - Slower paced, relaxing song, really fits the darkness of this level.
Lethal Lava Land: Fuel by Metallica - Fast, and that's what you have to be. Also, the fifth stage of this level unlocks a rideable shell making for even faster travel.
Shifting Sand Land: Keep 'em Separated by The Offspring- The Egyptian sounding guitar riff at the beginning of the song is enough to win it a spot for this level.
Dire Dire Docks: Thanks a Lot by Third Eye Blind- Listen to the song while playing this level and you'll see why I chose it.
Bowser Battle #2: (New Wave) Polly by Nirvana- Fast, heart-pounding music to drive you through a tricky fire-laden level and up to your second meeting with the big bad.
Snowman's Land: Soul to Squeeze by Red Hot Chili Peppers - You'd think "Snow" would be my RHCP choice here, but it hadn't been released when I was playing this game, but STS is my favorite RHCP song, and it works for this level.
Wet-Dry World: The Show Must Go On by Queen- One of my all-time favorite songs. Queen's theatrical song adds a new level of drama to this two-part stage.
Tall, Tall Mountain: Never-ending Story Theme by New Found Glory- Almost interchangable with God of Wine for the Rainbow Ride level, this song nicely fits the pace of the mountain.
Tiny Huge Island: Disarm by Smashing Pumpkins- This song doesn't particularly fit the level, just one part of it, where you must break into a worm's cave and kill the worm, even though he has done you no harm.
Tick Tock Clock: Hook by Blues Traveler- Relaxing song with a soulful guitar and harmonica rythm, perfect for the controlled chaos of the clock.
Rainbow Ride: God of Wine by Third Eye Blind- Awesome song, sums up this level very well. There's something about this song than encapsulates the precarious nature of this level. Also, two 3EB songs on the soundtrack.
Ultimate Bowser Battle: To Live is to Die by Metallica - Yeah, I know, two Metallica songs on one soundtrack. Well, this mostly instrumental song perfectly sums up this battle. And if you win at just the right point in the song you'll get a scene that even Hollywood couldn't screw up.

Surreality

Thursday I learned something. We all know about the Cold War... most of us grew up with it, around it, or were born during it. We knew that the USSR was secretly peering over Alaska to see what we were doing, and they knew that we were looking right back at them. We all understood the concept of MAD. For those of you playing the home game, that's "Mutually Assured Destruction." We knew, as well as did Russia, that if one weapon was launched, both nations would empty their arsenals, raining unholy terror on each other until not even a blade of grass was left. We could do it, so could they.

Funny, though, that the genesis of the Cold War is never fully explained in high school. Of course, Americans tend to look at everything through a shattered mirror or perfection. We think that it's always the other guy's fault. We didn't start the Cold War, the Soviets did. They don't care who they kill, we at least attack truly military targets.

Well, my friend, I learned something. See in the mid-1940s our good friend Franklin D. Roosevelt went down to Georgia and kicked ye olde bucket while in the Peach State. The subsequent scramble left Harry "Give 'em Hell" Truman in office.

A quick aside: the United States had been pursuing atomic weaponry for some time, spending on the order of $2 Billion (yup, with a big fat "B") on the project. FDR knew about it, and was holding it as his trump card for the proper time.

Well, proper times are hard to find when you've lain down for the eternal rest, some FDR's plans passed to Truman. Harry was just sitting around the Oval Office when this happened:

Military Chief: "Mr. President?"
Truman: "Yeah, what is it? I'm really busy."
Military Chief: "Well, sir, here's the thing. You know how the Japanese are still fighting rather hard?"
Truman: "Yeah, get to your point..."
Military Chief: "Well, we have this bomb... uh, three of them, actually, that basically can kill anything."
Truman: "Go on."
Military Chief: "Just... just throwing it out there, sir."

Truman, in all his infinite wisdom, takes this knowledge to his next Allied conference, where he promptly looks at Stalin and says, "Hey, Joe, just a head's up, but I've got a bigger bomb than you do." At which point Truman actually put his thumbs in his own ears, waved his fingers in Stalin's general direction, and said "Nannah-nannah boo-boo!" Joseph Stalin's reaction was "Well, that's nice. Good for you guys."

Stalin went back to the motherland, looked at his scientists, and said, "Build me one of those. I want one, or more. Build!" The Soviets started their own nuclear program, the United States dropped two of the bombs on Japan, which happens to be rather close to the Soviet Union, and the Cold War goes off to a rousing start, all thanks to Truman's showboating.

Of course, I have no doubts that the Cold War was inevitable. Russia suffered far too much during WWII. They didn't win any fans with the whole Eastern Bloc thing, either, but that's another story for another post.

So, long story short, FDR croaks, Truman learns about the bomb, Truman shows off in front of Stalin, Stalin orders his scientists to build, Truman's pride starts Cold War, the world goes MAD, and then Reagan bankrupted the Soviets. Nice history lesson.

Football Future-see IV

So last week was bad. We’re talking 1 win and 4 losses bad, sending us to 12-8 on the year. What a difference one week makes, huh? Only the Mets have suffered a worse collapse this season. But, we here at Right Wing continue, bearing the unbearable, striving for redemption with our fifth week of picks.

(15) Virginia Tech at (22) Clemson: Clemson is turning into an on-again-off-again team, dragging their fans on a roller coaster ACC schedule. Virginia Tech, though ranked number 15, has been a sort of disappointment this season. The energy of a team rebounding from a horrible event in April was sapped by Skip Holtz in week 1, when the Hokies barely escaped East Carolina. They’ve since lost to LSU, but they’ve won every other game, though not as decisively as wished for by Hokie Nation. This game depends on which Clemson team shows up, but we’re taking the Hokies to turn it on, beating Clemson in Death Valley 24-20.

(10) Oklahoma at (19) Texas: The Red River Shootout looked a lot more enticing eight days ago, but then Colorado and Kansas State effected Big XII drive-bys and knocked off OU and the Longhorns. Texas is uncertain as to the status of Colt McCoy, QB phenom who suffered a mild concussion. The Sooners need to prove that they haven’t lost their big game mentality. The last few games in this series have been lopsided, decided by ten or more points each time. Oklahoma is the better team, though, and they’ll prove it, handing Texas its second straight loss, 34-21.

(12) Georgia at Tennessee: UGA is an astounding 23-3 on the road against SEC teams since Mark Richt became head coach. UT is floundering and Fulmer’s seat is growing hotter and hotter. Matthew Stafford has come into his own as the Dawgs’ starting QB, and the two-headed attack of Brown and Moreno is frightening for any run defense. In their last three games, Georgia has scored 45, 26, and 45 points. Tennessee is giving up an average of 37.5 points per game this year. Dawgs go to Knoxville and win, 31-20.

(5) Wisconsin at Illinois: Here is your Upset Alert of Week 5. Wisconsin has not really proven themselves yet, even though they are number 5 in the land. The Illini are 4-1 and looking for Zook’s signature win. Well, this week looks pretty good to wear orange and blue, so long as you are a team from Illinios. The Badgers fall 27-26 in OT.

(9) Florida at (1) LSU: LSU assumes the leadership role in the nation, taking over the top spot from dethroned, but still undefeated, USC. Florida needs a bounce back game, and this does not look like it. The Tigers need to showcase the reason they are now number 1. The LSU offense has been slow to start recently, but once they get rolling, no one can stop them. The Gators may come into this game playing too hard, causing too many mistakes. Also, you just know the LSU secondary is daring Tebow to run one up the middle. LSU sends the Gators to their second conference loss. LSU 28, Florida 19.

A Few Quick Things

It's called bombing. If it were a collegiate test, I would've scored a 20 out of 100. It's called our Football Future-see picks from the weekend. We went 1-4 for the week.

Somehow this past weekend of college football became the gauntlet for top ten teams. 6 of the top 13 went down. Now Kentucky is number 8 in the land, LSU has jumped over USC for number one. My favorite stat: the SEC has five teams in the top twelve. Nice.

Politically....

Hillary is saying that the government should give every child that is born a $5000 bank account that can begin to accrue interest immediately so that the child can go to college. It's a wonderful gesture, but where exactly does ye olde federal government get the money? That's right... it comes from your pocket. Ahhhh... socialism.

Over in Mother Russia our good friend Vlad "The Election Rigger" Putin has stated that he plans to run for Prime Minister after stepping down as President early next year. Am I the only one who is worried by Putin's power grabs?

Apparently Burma... or is it Myanmar?... no wait... it is Burma, is killing anybody who's name contains a vowel. A defector recently revealed to the London Daily Times that the number of executions in Burma can easily be counted in te thousands.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (pronounced "I'm-A-Dinner-Jacket") (thanks, Robert) visited the US in the past few days and made a few bold statements, including the little ditty about how Iran doesn't have the "homosexual phenomenon." This coming from the same man who says the Holocaust never happened..."

We need help...
Sanjay, where are you?

Football Future-see 4, etc.

The Right Wing prediction staff (I’ll admit, it’s just me, Blake, at this point… Sanjay is still missing, but for the sake of pleasantries, I’ll stay pluralized) kept up our winning ways last week, going 4-1 and making us a nice 11-4 on the year. This week we tackle conference match-ups, 3 SEC games, 1 Big East game, and 1 ACC game.

(13) Clemson at Georgia Tech: Tech is reeling and Clemson is rolling. The Yellow Jackets have dropped two straight since their precious Ramblin’ Wreck was, ironically, wrecked. Clemson is too much for the Jackets to handle, and Taylor Bennett, the GT QB, is having timing issues. Clemson wins, 26-13.

(5) West Virgina at (18) South Florida: South Florida made us look like geniuses by picking them over Auburn, but WVU is a tougher test. The Slaton/White ticket makes even the best defenses look silly. South Florida beat the Mountaineers last season, so West Virginia is revenge-minded, but that can be bad. It’ll be close; WVU gets their revenge, winning 31-28.

Ole Miss at (15) Georgia: Again, the Dawgs made us look good last week. Now the Rebels come to town after a close loss to mighty Florida. UGA sophomore QB Matthew Stafford is getting better and better as the season goes, and he now has a weapon that all the big-time quarterbacks have, poise under pressure. Georgia avoids the letdown and get’s their fourth win of the year, beating Ole Miss 31-13.

Auburn at (4) Florida: Florida won, keeping our record respectable, but they didn’t come close to the point spread we predicted. Auburn made us look good a few weeks back by falling flat against South Florida, and this is an SEC game, so you never know what to expect. Truthfully, Auburn doesn’t have enough for Florida this year. Tebow is a good QB, but all the running he does will get him into trouble. Someone is going to hit him hard, and it will do some damage. Florida wins, but they don’t roll, 30-23.

Mississippi State at (16) South Carolina: I’ll say it right now; the Gamecocks are officially on upset alert. Mississippi State has taken down Auburn, and beating Spurrier and South Carolina would let people know they’re for real. That’s the trick with the SEC, rivalry games happen every week and something bad tends to happen to teams with high rankings. I point back to UGA/Auburn last year. Auburn was number 5 in the nation. The Dawgs beat the Tigers 37-15. This game won’t be a blowout, but MissSt is playing well enough to win. Sly Crrom gets another big SEC “W”, 27-17.

Video games revisited



Today we travel back in time to Christmas of 1996. I was fourteen, and Christmas still held magic for me. Often it seems kids are disillusioned at an early age. Christmas loses whatever power it had, and kids look at it as just another day. I still hold out for the magic of a family Christmas. So it was that Christmas ’96 arrived…

I stumbled into the room, half asleep and half excited. Christmas is my favorite holiday, and not even because of the presents. I love the season. But, at age fourteen, presents are fairly important.

I sat down and began anxiously ripping into packages. First out was the N64 itself, resplendent in its vibrant multi-color box. I sat for a few minutes turning the box from one side to the other, reading every single word on it. The back of the box was peppered with screenshots of the different games that were coming out.

After scanning every panel on the box, I moved to the next present. What good is a game system without games? Not much, but present number two solved the momentary dilemma. Inside the box was a shirt. Now, first off, you can’t play a shirt. I’ve tried it, it can’t be done. Inside the shirt, though, was Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire. My first N64 game. I also opened Super Mario 64 that day, but Shadows stuck with me.

For those of you not in the know, Shadows of the Empire is quite possibly the most unbalanced game ever made. Some levels are easy and can be completed in a few minutes. Other levels can take upwards of an hour-plus to defeat. The bosses also range from the comical to the insanely difficult. To better understand the game, it helps to have read the book by Steve Perry.

A quick synopsis: Shadows of the Empire takes place between The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. The story follows Luke Skywalker and company in tracking down the carbonite-frozen Han Solo, the adventures of rakish pilot Dash Rendar, and the competition between the evil crime lord Prince Xizor and Darth Vader.

The game follows Dash Rendar in a loose parallel of the events detailed in the book. In the book Rendar make reference to being on Hoth and fighting in the battle against the Empire. The game begins with that battle, and then follows Rendar in his quest through the Hoth base to get to his ship, the Outrider. After successfully overcoming these two missions, you fly through the Hoth asteroid belt.

From here the game gets harder. You travel to the junkyards of Ord Mantell and track down the bounty hunter IG-88. After dispatching IG-88, there is a fun level where you race swoops (essentially high-powered flying motorcycles) through Mos Eisley and Beggar’s Canyon.

You then track down the man himself, Boba Fett. Fett’s level is easily the longest and most trying in the entire game. After reaching Fett, you must fight him. You can kill him all you want, but he is never truly dead. He falls down into a hangar and reappears, this time in his ship, Slave I. You now have to defeat his ship. You’re still on foot.

If you’ve seen Return of the Jedi, then you’re probably familiar with the line “Many Bothans died to bring us this information.” in regards to the Death Star plans. In the game Dash Rendar leads the Bothan charge against an Imperial freighter carrying the plans. The freighter level is intense and is easily the most replayable level in the game.

The level where you have to trounce through the Imperial Sewers on Coruscant is horrifying. The sewers are dank, dark pits of despair. The boss battle in the sewers takes place under water, which is disgusting.

Once beyond the sewers, and after a nice, hot shower, you enter Xizor’s palace. The palace is one of the game’s most difficult levels. Save areas are few and far between, and the enemies are tougher to beat. The boss of Xizor’s palace is a Gladiator droid that you must kill three times. Round one is fighting the entire droid, who stands about fifty-feet-tall. Round two his legs fall off and you fight his flying torso. Round three his torso falls off and you fight a flying head.

Xizor’s Palace falls and you take to space for the final battle, Xizor’s skyhook. In a way, this battle is anticlimactic. You destroy the skyhook while dodging Imperial, Rebel, and Xizor-aligned starfighters. No matter how fast you fly after delivering the death blow, you will not escape.

In the book Dash Rendar is believed to die in the explosion of the skyhook. The game is no different, with the exception that after the battle, and after a few characters say “Oh my, Dash is dead!” you see Dash Rendar flying his ship through hyperspace.

In the end, Shadows has fantastic replay value, and if you learn the debug, you can play in ways you never imagined before.

Football Future-see III

Well, we dropped the ball last week, missing two games badly and ending up 3-2 for the week. Coupled with the 4-1 record from our first week, the Right Wing prediction staff is 7-3, with an extra game picked that never showed up on the blog (I correctly called Bama knocking off Arkansas).

So what’s in store this week: (1 Big Ten game, and then all SEC)

(10) Penn State at Michigan: Michigan finally got over the hump by crushing Notre Dame. Penn State still has to prove themselves to the doubters. PSU’s quarterback, Anthony Morelli, is dubbed as an on-again-off-again QB in need of consistency. The Wolverines offense has yet to be impressive, and yes I know they put up 38 on Notre Dame, but ND has the worst defense of all D-I schools in the nation. Look for Penn State to win, 27-21.

(12) South Carolina at (2) LSU: The Tigers are picked by 16 in this game, and that sounds about right. Spurrier’s birds played sloppy against and even-sloppier UGA team two weeks ago, and then played lowly South Carolina State last week. LSU is coming off impressive wins over VaTech and Middle Tennessee. Look of the Tigers to Geaux, winning easily, 37-17.

(3) Florida at Mississippi: Florida takes the SEC’s most potent offense to Ole Miss, where the Rebs have a defense ranked 104 out of 119. This does not look good if you’re a Mississippi fan. The Gators put up over 50 points against Tennessee, and UT’s Defense is better than Ole Miss. This is not a let down game. Gators roll 69-7.

(21) Kentucky at Arkansas: The Wildcats are coming off an emotional win against Louisville; the Razorbacks are coming off a bitter loss to Alabama. Kentucky wants to keep rolling; Arkansas wants to be back in the Top 25. Andre Woodson is trying to get his name in the Heisman hunt: Darren McFadden is looking to re-establish himself in the hunt. Kentucky, I think, wants it more. Wildcats top Razorbacks, 31-24.

(22) UGA at (16) Alabama: GameDay will be in Tuscaloosa for this one. On paper, this game looks fantastic. Georgia has the number 15 defense in the country, while Alabama has the number 25 offense. Nick Saban has revitalized the Crimson Tide. The Dawgs are suffering thorugh some media persecution for being too young, yet they only game they’ve lost was by 4 points, and they’ve outscored their opponents by a total of 46 points this season. ‘Bama’s big win over Arkansas provides momentum, but UGA is looking for a signature conference victory. It’ll be close, but UGA upsets the elephants 28-24.

Sampler Platter Episode II

Football Future-see

It's week three of the College season and already the Top 25 is shaking and moving. UGA faltered last week against South Carolina, Michigan is 0-2, Notre Dame hasn't shown up for a game yet, and Louisville doesn't have a defense. So here we go.

1. (21) Boston College vs. (15) Georgia Tech. It is very early in the season to be talking about conference titles, but this game could very well decide the ACC, or at least be a preview of the ACC title game. Tech has obliterated two opponents, out scoring the opposition 33-3 and 69-14. BC looks like they could hang with almost anyone in the nation. Still, expect Tech to win 34-20.

2. (1) USC vs. (14) Nebraska. I can't even begin to explain how badly I want Nebraska to win this game. I have never like USC, and it's mostly because of their coach. There's a big difference between winning a game and running up the score. Nebraska brings a better defense than USC has played in years, but it won't be enough, USC tops the Huskers 31-21.

3. Western Carolina vs. (23) UGA. I said I don't like running the score up, but sometimes it can be therapeutic. The Dawgs looked bad against the dark lord of the Sith, Darth Visor, but they get a I-AA opponent this week who they should beat (I'm looking at you Michigan). Look for Knowshon Moreno to tally about 200 yards in this one as Stafford and the Dawgs rebound, blowing out WCU 56-10.

4. (9) Louisville vs. Kentucky. This game showcases two of the best quarterbacks in the nation, Brian Brohm and Andre Woodson. Brohm is a Heisman candidate. Louisville, though, has shown no defense in two games. Kentucky comes out of the rough-and-tumble SEC East, and they're looking for the big win. Louisville has too much offense, though, and they will beat Kentucky, 41-35.

5. (22) Tennessee vs. (5) Florida. Big SEC match-ups are always fun. Tennessee will have to run the ball well to slow down the high-octane Gator offense. Tim Tebow is trying to establish himself as the premiere QB of the SEC, and he will be put to the test this week. Tennessee is still stinging from the Cal loss, and an upset of Florida would be the perfect salve. The tricky situation is the fact that this is a conference game, a time when SEC opponents bring their A-game. Look for Florida stop the run and win this one, 27-20.

Palpatine Syndrome...

Russian President Vladimir Putin dissolved the Russian government, dismissing the Prime Minister and Parliament. The belief in the world community is that Putin is paving the way for his hand-picked successor, defense Minister Sergei Ivanov, to be installed as Prime Minister, and then be elected President next spring.

I call this the Palpatine Syndrome because of the Star Wars movies. The Emperor, Palpatine, dissolves the senate and places control in the hands of governors who answer directly to him. Putin has taken steps toward acquiring absolute power in Russia, and everyone seems to be taking his move with a grain of salt.

Robert, here's your shot at a return of the Cold War.

Notes on Sanjay
He's still missing.

Football Future-see

I’ll try every week to correctly predict the outcomes to five games from the college schedule. I know I missed week one, but the truth is, I just decided to do this.

1. Notre Dame at (14)Penn State. ND is 0-1 after Georgia Tech ran into the welcoming arms of “touchdown” Jesus in South Bend, blowing out the Irish 33-3. Penn State tallied 59 points in their opener. Penn State has a quarterback, Notre Dame has three, which any good coach would tell you, mean Notre Dame doesn’t have a quarterback. This one should be fun, if only for the “whiteout.” Penn State rolls 42-13.

2. Oregon at Michigan. The upset of all time is still echoing in Ann Arbor, and the big house is full of the screams of indignant big blue fans. Oregon runs the same offense as Appalachian State, only with bigger guys. That means Michigan is in for another run-and-gun game. Oregon sends the Wolverines to an 0-2 start, handling Henne and Hart, 35-24 Ducks.

3. South Carolina at (11)Georgia. The Dawgs were supposed to lose their season opener to Oklahoma State. They were supposed to falter in week one, not Michigan. But, just like when Boise State came calling a few years back and every sports writer in the country put UGA on upset alert, the Dawgs hunkered down and laid a beating on the potential upseter. South Carolina, though, is in year three of the Spurrier Dictatorship, and they’ve yet to give UGA a challenge. This year doesn’t look any different. Dawgs win, 31-14.

4. (9)Virginia Tech at (2)LSU. VaTech is the feel-good story of ’07, but their football team left a lot to be desired against East Carolina, winning by a 17-7 score. LSU, on the other hand, blanked a fellow SEC team, beating Mississippi State 45-0. Unfortunately for the boys in maroon and orange, those Tigers in purple and yellow aren’t gonna hold back. LSU wins handily, 37-20.

5. South Florida at (17) Auburn. I hate to say it, but an SEC school is about to fall. South Florida is a dangerous team. They beat a couple of Big East / National powerhouses last season. Look for Auburn to sound the upset alarm. South Florida squeaks by, 30-27.

According to Whoopi

I honestly don’t know where to start on this one. Whoopi Goldberg, in her first fifteen minutes on the job as new co-host of “The View,” came out in defense of Michael Vick. All of which is well and good; if you want to defend Vick, feel free. But her defense of the disgraced Falcon’s quarterback was founded on the thought that dog fighting is an integral part of southern culture.

That’s right, according to Whoopi, dog fighting is as ingrained in southern culture as cock fighting is in Puerto Rico. Elisabeth Hasselbeck, another View co-host, congratulated the NFL on suspending Vick indefinitely. Goldberg’s response included commenting on Vick coming from a culture where no one questions [dog fighting]. I was unaware of that, but apparently southerners are so backward that we all consider dog fighting to be okay, and we see no immorality in it.

The sad thing is Whoopi’s mindset is not limited to Whoopi. There is a large percentage of the population that believes everyone in the south to be an ignorant, backwater redneck. We all think the Civil War is still going on and we’ve all saved our Confederate money for when we win.

Goldberg claimed that Virginia-native Michael Vick is from the “deep south” and that dog fighting is just part of his up-bringing. I’ll admit that rural dog-fighting has a history among southerners, and I’m not proud of that. But I’ll also say that not that many people consider Virginia to be the “deep south.”

I’m honestly stuck on this one. Was Goldberg’s comment meant only to stir up controversy, as Rosie was so good at doing? Or was it indicative of her belief that the south is a backward, inferior part of the nation?

Fopas

Well, it had to happen, and here it is. It's exactly 3:00am as I sit down to write this. I'm not feeling the urge to sleep yet. Let me clarify a few things before I launch into this post:

1. I've taken some heat because I was more worried about the UGA football game than I was about Sanjay going AWOL (Georgia won 35-14, by the way). I'm sorry if anyone was offended.
2. Sanjay is still missing. He still isn't answering calls. The police are investigating.

Now, the title of this post comes from a very interesting AIM conversation I had with Robert from Skewed View, probably a year ago. He tried to say faux pas, but inadvertently typed fopas. We've all made typographical mistakes, so no harm done, but fopas has become a running joke.

Anywho, the fopas in question here comes from the lovely world of Facebook, brought to you live on teh interwebs.

Facebook allows a user to reveal their religious beliefs, a action that proves deadly in many countries, but here in the good ole U. S. of A. we can't get enough of running each others god into the ground. The trick to thise issue is understanding that most people who have any sort of religious conviction are usually svelte in what they post. Unless you are a Miss America pageant contestant, or a, how should I put this, "Lady/Man of the Evening," we probably won't be getting the good juicy photos of you running around topless at a church bake sale, or soliciting the Royal English guardsman while making sure the paparazzi see as much of you thong as possible.

And yet people who say they are Christian throw up pictures of themselves in the clubs, bumping and grinding with any stranger who happens to be holding a Jack and Coke, or they are out on the lake in their bikinis with every guy they know hanging off of them while the bikini material is stretched to the breaking point trying to turn a B-cup into a D-cup (congrats if you can pull it off), or the pictures will show guys standing around holding those coozie-things used to keep a canned beverage cold, all while the Miller labels is clearly visible. My favorite is the increasingly popular selection for religion: "I LOVE JESUS!" You look at their profiles and their activities actually include drinking. Then you check their pictures and you get the standard shot of them actually tipping the keg itself over and you're left thinking, "How could a 95 pound girl in stiletto heels lift a keg?"

Also these "fopas"-masters will say that they are politically "Very Conservative" and yet you open their profile and every picture they've posted has them drinking (I'm talking serious mixing Bacardi with Grey Goose and a Jaegermeister chaser drinking), or pushing a half-empty Budweiser bottle into the lower recessed of their cleavage, or groping someone of the same gender.

I'm just thinking that if you're going to claim to be Christian, or Very Conservative, maybe you should act like it. Then again, it's now 3:24 am and my brain might not be firing on all cylinders.

80: Sanjay please come back.

I found a homeless cat last night. I brought him in, but he won't leave his cardboard box.

Sanjay still has not reported in. He still isn't answering his phone. I'm hoping he isn't lost.


These pictures could bring him back, he loves funny cats. And I really need a call screener. BigMommaHawaii42 won't leave me alone.

Anyway, since I'm going it alone now, I have some news. I uploaded Mozilla Firefox last night. My computer actually coughed. Like a 75-year-old asthmatic, my HP with Windows 98 physically hacked for a few minutes. But I'm safer now, from the evil internet.

Some of you may be thinking, haven't you been going alone for a while? I mean, Sanjay's only written twice in two months. Well, since I have an old HP with Windows 98, Sanjay has been fulfilling his purpose as tech support. Believe me, I need tech support.

Sorry, though, time's short. UGA kicks off in a few minutes and I've got to get ready. Have fun.

Sanjay?

Sanjay is gone. I came in to the office today, expecting to find him sitting at his desk, probably playing Solitaire, but he’s gone. I called his house; no answer. I even called over to The Fallen. Grubbs hasn’t heard from him. I called Skewed, knowing that Fred and Sanjay don’t get along, but that Fred wouldn’t wish any harm on him. Fred answered the phone and when I asked him if he’d seen Sanjay, he said, “No, now leave us alone!” and he hung up on me.

So I sat down at Sanjay’s computer and pulled up our office email account. I found one e-mail from retsderf@mindspring.com that read: I’m gonna get you, sucka. I can only assume that it’s spam. All the other emails were from various people who Sanjay has given tech support to. I figured he might be out on a support call, so I called his cell phone (yes, I did wonder why I didn’t think of it before). No answer.

If any of you know where Sanjay is, please let me know.

UPDATE: I found the last e-mail that Sanjay sent. I need BigMommaHawaii42 to call me please. I think Sanjay was looking for you.

Sanjay Strikes Back at the Fredster

Well, gang, I’m back. I’m not too proud to admit that I suffered a mild psychotic episode after American Idol selected Sanjaya over me, even if it was a simple clerical error. I went off the deep end just a bit. On top of that was the incident where Blake locked me in the broom closet because he thought I was trying to take over. I explained everything to Blake, and he finally let me out… two weeks later.

So here I sit, back for my first post in many months. I was going to explain my absence in further detail. I was even going to answer some reader mail in this post.

But wouldn’t you know it, Fred over at Skewed as decided to rip everyone a new one in a rather scathing post. Now we here at the Right Wing have long believed that Fred is actually Rennie, or, even more shockingly, Rennie is actually Fred, and quite possibly Akbar is the burro. Fred seems to have a lot of insight that only Rennie would have. But we’ll continue to assume that Fred is real.

Fred has decided that the Right Wing is too political. Apparently the name didn’t tip him off. We talk about politics, we’re too political. We talk about sports, we do too much with sports. The answer here is simple. Fred doesn’t want competition. Face it, Fred. Ever since Blake started The Right Wing you’ve had to work harder to maintain your readership. In typical Democrat form (see, I’m being political again), Fred doesn’t want competition in the marketplace.

One thing that Fred was right about, which is a miracle in itself, is that Rennie and Grubbs are too depressing. He left Blake out of that conversation, which is good, because Blake has been fairly happy lately. He hasn’t been depressed over his job, or his lack of social mobility in a mountain town. And he thankfully has avoided the “Fred-trap,” where a person writes mindless drivel about people they’ve never met.

We have to remember though, that Fred is willing to flash Ronald McDonald. Imagine, if Fred will do that to a kid’s hero, what would he do to the kid? Fred, you’re the reason I’m glad I have guns in my house. So Fred, the next time you feel the urge to write something on Rennie’s blog, make sure Rennie knows about it. I think his new policy involves a spot right behind the ear and not feeling a thing.