Friday, October 05, 2007

Surreality

Thursday I learned something. We all know about the Cold War... most of us grew up with it, around it, or were born during it. We knew that the USSR was secretly peering over Alaska to see what we were doing, and they knew that we were looking right back at them. We all understood the concept of MAD. For those of you playing the home game, that's "Mutually Assured Destruction." We knew, as well as did Russia, that if one weapon was launched, both nations would empty their arsenals, raining unholy terror on each other until not even a blade of grass was left. We could do it, so could they.

Funny, though, that the genesis of the Cold War is never fully explained in high school. Of course, Americans tend to look at everything through a shattered mirror or perfection. We think that it's always the other guy's fault. We didn't start the Cold War, the Soviets did. They don't care who they kill, we at least attack truly military targets.

Well, my friend, I learned something. See in the mid-1940s our good friend Franklin D. Roosevelt went down to Georgia and kicked ye olde bucket while in the Peach State. The subsequent scramble left Harry "Give 'em Hell" Truman in office.

A quick aside: the United States had been pursuing atomic weaponry for some time, spending on the order of $2 Billion (yup, with a big fat "B") on the project. FDR knew about it, and was holding it as his trump card for the proper time.

Well, proper times are hard to find when you've lain down for the eternal rest, some FDR's plans passed to Truman. Harry was just sitting around the Oval Office when this happened:

Military Chief: "Mr. President?"
Truman: "Yeah, what is it? I'm really busy."
Military Chief: "Well, sir, here's the thing. You know how the Japanese are still fighting rather hard?"
Truman: "Yeah, get to your point..."
Military Chief: "Well, we have this bomb... uh, three of them, actually, that basically can kill anything."
Truman: "Go on."
Military Chief: "Just... just throwing it out there, sir."

Truman, in all his infinite wisdom, takes this knowledge to his next Allied conference, where he promptly looks at Stalin and says, "Hey, Joe, just a head's up, but I've got a bigger bomb than you do." At which point Truman actually put his thumbs in his own ears, waved his fingers in Stalin's general direction, and said "Nannah-nannah boo-boo!" Joseph Stalin's reaction was "Well, that's nice. Good for you guys."

Stalin went back to the motherland, looked at his scientists, and said, "Build me one of those. I want one, or more. Build!" The Soviets started their own nuclear program, the United States dropped two of the bombs on Japan, which happens to be rather close to the Soviet Union, and the Cold War goes off to a rousing start, all thanks to Truman's showboating.

Of course, I have no doubts that the Cold War was inevitable. Russia suffered far too much during WWII. They didn't win any fans with the whole Eastern Bloc thing, either, but that's another story for another post.

So, long story short, FDR croaks, Truman learns about the bomb, Truman shows off in front of Stalin, Stalin orders his scientists to build, Truman's pride starts Cold War, the world goes MAD, and then Reagan bankrupted the Soviets. Nice history lesson.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

"So, long story short, FDR croaks, Truman learns about the bomb, Truman shows off in front of Stalin, Stalin orders his scientists to build, Truman's pride starts Cold War, the world goes MAD, and then Reagan bankrupted the Soviets. Nice history lesson."

I see... so the showboating democrat leads us to the brink, and the conservative republican solves the cold war... riiiight.

Actually, and, I didn't know this myself, but Reagan came damn close to sparking a massive nuclear exchange in 1983. It was on a three hour program that started at 11 o'clock the other night and I didn't catch the whole thing - but it brought to light that Reagan's "Evil Empire" speech, coupled with his Star Wars weapons system that actually led the then very ill Soviet Primer to begin fueling and preparing his arsenal to launch at the push of a button. So, essentially, your Great Communicator managed to convince the Soviets that we were about to attack them at any given moment... whoopsie.

People keep saying that Reagan ended the Cold War - or at least they have since he died - and the words of Inego Montoya come to mind everytime: You keep saying that thing... I don't think it means what you think it means...

Good post though - I chuckled heartedly at the "just throwing it out there" line.

Carl said...

Yeah, and by "showboating," I'm just going to assume that you mean "saving millions of lives, both American and Japanese, by not invading the Home Islands." The casualty estimations for that invasion were so high that we're STILL using the stock of Purple Hearts that they had built up. I'm not denying that Truman was trying to impress the Soviets, but to say that he was showboating is, at best, really damned funny, and at worst, willfully ignorant. That said, great post. Better than anything that I've thrown out there recently.

Blake Duncan said...

It was all meant as fun. If I was serious I would've praised Reagan alot more and you both know it.

j/k