Announcing a New Hiring

Here at The Right Wing we've fallen behind the times. Outsourcing apparently has run rampant in our country, and just as I was about to hire some poor sap... er, I mean, brilliant young man named Sanjay to handle tech support for me, I had the brilliant idea to hire American. So I've gone out, broken down the racial and ethnical demographic of my area (so as to conform with Affirmative Action) and ralized that, to meet the stringent guidelines in place, I have to hire a 28-year-old lesbian woman who's father was Hispanic, who's mother was African-American, who's grandfather on her father's side was Irish and her grandmother was Puerto Rican, who's grandfather on her mother's side was Canadian and her grandmother there was Nigerian, and who's second cousin twice removed was French, who's only ever made $10,000 a year once in her life, and who has at most a tenth grade education.

You know what? That person doesn't exist. And if they did, in this country, they'd want about four times the salary Sanjay is willing to do the job for. So I'm hiring Sanjay to handle tech support. He'll also be answering your calls on Tuesdays and Thursdays while I'm in class.