People like to talk about epiphanies. That singular moment in their lives when everything they ever believed in was changed, when every person they held dear was revealed for what they really were, for better or for worse. That moment when, no matter what problem you were facing, you realized you'd get through it. Epiphanies can be brought on by songs, by movies, even just looking at nature. The funny thing about epiphanies is that a person is not limited to only one per lifetime...
Tonight was my one of my epiphanies, albeit, a rather depressing epiphany. I'm sitting at my trusty HP Pavilion that still runs Windows 98 and I'm surfing YouTube for Scottish rock. One of my favorite bands, Runrig, happens to be Scottish.
I came across a plethora of Runrig clips, and one of the songs was "Hearts of Olden Glory." I had never listened to this song before tonight. So, feeling adventurous, I clicked on the link and within moments was completely absorbed in one of the greatest songs I've ever heard.
Honestly, no song has ever seemed so moving, as cheesy as that sounds. But as the song played I leaned back in my chair, closed my eyes, and let every thought I could run through my brain, framed to this music. A Psychologist would probably say my results were tainted because I deliberately injected outside stimulus, but in this case, I don't mind the psychology.
About halfway through, when the rocking guitar solo kicked in, I found myself in a state of pseudo-anger and quasi-fascination. I realized just how much the little things bothered me. I realized how ticked off I am that gas is nearing $4/gallon. I realized how ticked off I am that we're still quagmired in Iraq after 4 years. I realized how ridiculous it was that three people have shelled out millions upon millions of dollars to gain a position that pays no more than $400,000 or so a year. I realized how greatly "the system" was failing people. And I realized seemingly how little I could do about it all.
Yeah, my sudden desire to teach is a step in the right direction. It's a chance to educate a group of people who have been systematically failed at every turn by the very educational system that seeks to create the next generation of leaders in this nation. But even at that, one person can't make that much of a difference, can they? I used to talk about the Greater Good, and I realized that, undoubtedly, the entire nation would have to get behind such an ideal for any real change to be made.
The country is so divided that I really don't see anything that can bring us back together, so I think I've reverted to a baser, spiritual desire for inner renewal. I don't want to say that I've given up on our country, because I haven't. But honestly, lately I haven't seen anything to inspire hope that the divide can be repaired. One side blames the other for everything, the other side basically sticks up a middle finger and shouts names back in ridicule. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, but that merely proves that the rule exists.
I realized that our generation has been stricken with heavy heart like no generation since World War II. We've actually watched our friends go off and die in a war that hasn't really gained us anything, save for a big fat check for Halliburton. We've seen the divide grow wider and wider as our own government runs around pointing fingers instead of actually solving problems. We've watched as our own President became a lame duck even before the election cycle ended, all because he's lost the faith of the people, or in some cases never had it to begin with.
I can't help but recall the John Adams miniseries on HBO. In one of his letters, Adams pleads for posterity to remember how much the previous generation gave to preserve the freedom they enjoy. That memory, that understanding of what others have given, is all but lost to the current generation. The divide has grown so overwhelming that it has replaced the desire for freedom with the desire for security.
So what does a people do when they've had enough? It's hard enough to get one percent of the people behind something, much less all of the people. So what can one person do?
So, that was a bit of a rant, but I must say I feel better having gotten that off my chest. Good night, and may God bless...
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