From the Mouth of Babes...

I go to a small Baptist church. Occasionally we plan a church-wide lunch or dinner after the service. Last Sunday was one of those days. We had a huge lunch planned. Some friends of mine showed up with their two kids, the youngest of which is a scant two months old.

Now first understand this: I’m usually pretty good with babies. I’ve actually already been told that I’ll make a good father, but I don’t want to think about that right now, and while I thank those who say that… well, let’s hold off on the father talk, okay?

Anyway, I’m standing around when they walk in and shortly thereafter I find myself holding two-month old Ethan. It’s at this point that a series of fun events began to unfold around me.

First, two of the younger adults I go to church with walk in with a friend of theirs, a nice looking young woman, probably no more than 25 or 26 years of age, who is holding one of those baby carrier things. She sees me holding Ethan and, I can only guess that this is what goes through her mind, thinks: hey, someone like me, I should talk to them. I need to say this as a caveat to the rest of this story: I get nervous when single women talk to me, not because I don’t know how to act, but rather there is someone I care about and I think we may have something with each other and I sure as heck don’t want to screw it up.

So, she walks up and looks first at Ethan, then at me, as if trying to determine familiar relation, and then says, “He’s adorable. How old is he?”

I stammer out the reply, “He’s two or three months…” To which she gives me a look of semi-abject terror and says, “You don’t know how old your own child is?”

I chuckled and responded, “Oh, he’s not mine.” She smiled, seemingly ashamed of having leapt to the conclusion, but I didn't mind. Marcus, the guy I go to church with who had invited her, stepped up and said, "Well, you do look natural with him."
The only reply I had for that was: "Yeah, but there needs to be a girlfriend and a wedding, and probably a few years of a well-paying job before kids come along."

We laughed off the incident and went about our day. Well, moments later Ethan begins to cry. I’m not talking about your everyday run-of-the-mill baby crying either; this was full-on sobbing. This was the crying where every other cry doesn't even make a sound. He began to work his mouth in a way that suggested he was hungry.

Now, being a man, I am not equipped to provide this child with the needed sustenance. I even said that to his father, who said in return, “Okay, give him to me.” To which I said, “I’m pretty sure you can’t help him, either.”

He replied, “No, but I know who can.”

And that, kids, is my baby story for the world...