The Russo-Japanese War. Fought from February 1904 to September 1905, this bloody conflict stemmed from the imperialistic ideals of Japan and Russia, and their respective desires to dominate Manchuria and Korea. Russia sought a warm water port, and Port Arthur, on the Liadong Peninsula, would serve their purpose nicely. However, the Japanese were not going to let the Russians in, as they thought that Korea and Manchuria were rightfully theirs.
See, Japan is an island nation with few natural resources. The need for more land, and therefore more resources pressured the Japanese to seek control of the Korean peninsula.
The war dragged on through a brutal winter, and both sides suffered serious casualties, but neither was willing to back down. Ammunitions began to run low, and at one point it is reported that both sides had a vicious snowball fight over Vladivostok.
In reality, a political revolution was brewing in Russia, which had the cumulative effect on the Russian soldiers of forcing them, as they were firing at the enemy, to constantly look over their own shoulders to Moscow.
The desire for a peace treaty came in September of 1905. The Russians had been beaten back badly, and needed to retreat, so they sought the Japanese for a peace accord.
The Japanese agreed, and requested President Theodore Roosevelt to mediate the treaty. There is debate among many scholars that the Peace Treaty, signed in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, was only signed there because of a strong Japanese desire for pancakes, waffles, and syrup.
It is thought that the conversation went something like this:
Emperor Meiji: The Russians want peace, huh? Well, I want waffles.
Fleet Admiral Togo: You know, I'd like some syrup myself. Haven't had any since the Iwakura Mission.
Meiji: Okay, I'll call the States, see what we can do...
*Meiji picks up the phone and calls the White House*
Meiji: Okay, it's ringing. Guys, figure out where we can go. Get the map, look around Vermont or somewhere.
President Theodore Roosevelt: Go for Uncle Teddy!
Meiji: President Teddy, Meiji here.
Roosevelt: What can I do ya' for, Meiji?
Meiji: Well, you know we're fighting this war, right? The Russians want peace, and we'd all like for you to mediate the treaty.
Roosevelt: Sure thing. Let me check my schedule here... a-yup I'm free on the fifth, I think I can sail over and...
Meiji: No no no, no... no. We'd like to come over there. No sense inconveniencing you, right? How about, Portsmouth, New Hampshire?
Roosevelt: Well, New Hampshire's a long way from Japan or Russia. It doesn't really make any sense to go there...
Meiji: They have a new House O' Waffles, right? Downtown, next to the barber shop?
Roosevelt: Well, golly, they do. Okay then, peace and waffles, all around.
Of course, there is no historical evidence to back that up. But seriously, why else would you sign a peace accord between Japan and Russia in New Hampshire?
*The author of this article means no disrespect to New Hampshire, Japan, Russia, Emperor Meiji, Fleet Admiral Togo, or President Theodore Roosevelt. He does, however, mean complete and total disrespect to the downtown Portsmouth House O' Waffles.*
1 comment:
Excellent post my friend, excellent!
And remember kids, while you're in the area, make sure to drop by Greater Sheboygan Whiffles after breakfast at Downtown Portsmouth House O' Waffles.
Post a Comment