Thursday, June 26, 2014

F1 Rules & Regs for 2015 (or, How I Learned To Stop Caring And Embrace The Insanity)

Beginning next year, safety car periods in Formula 1 will be followed by a standing restart from the grid. This rule only applies to restarts after the first two laps of the race and before the final five laps of a race.

Why?

What is the point of this?

Truthfully, what happened is that the FIA released the updated rules and regulations for 2015, and this is just one of many rules changes. The noses of the cars will once more face redesign work, brake discs will now have to rotate at the same speed as the tire, and the wheel attachments will be redesigned for added security.

But the standing start rule is already catching the most flak. It seems like yet another mad-cap idea from Bernie Ecclestone to create drama instead of allowing for racing to occur.

So let's do it; let's make F1 even more of a spectacle. How, you ask? By following these simple rules changes:

1. Qualifying will now take place on Friday night in prime time as an American Idol or Britain's Got Talent type show in which the viewing audience can call in a vote on the starting order for each grand prix.

2. Each car will be fitted with a paintball gun that can be fired at all other cars. Every hit is tallied at the end of the race, with each hit resulting in a 1/4 second addition of time. Cars hit fewer times will be able to move up the grid. Cars hit more often will move down.

3. The winner of each race will have to carry a 100-pound ballast at the next race to increase parity.

4. Races will now feature a halftime period.

5. Each team must feature a male driver and a female driver.

6. F1 will now run the 24-hours of Le Mans, and it will feature as a octuple-points event.

7. The points at the last race of the season will be multiplied by 6.782, or whatever value ensures Sebastian Vettel another championship.

8. Monaco is all about spectacle. To make it even more spectacular, half the grid will run the race clockwise, the other half will run anti-clockwise.

9. Sprinklers will be installed at certain tracks, but only to throw water on the audience, not the track.

10. F1 will now be part of the Summer and Winter Olympics.

11. Sailboats.

12. Instead of a Driver's Championship trophy being handed out, Bernie Ecclestone will be bronzed and handed to the winning driver every year.

3 comments:

motherbeloved said...

While we want it to be more of a sparkling light in the world of racing I of course have a few to add to this tastfully suggested rules and regs update.

1. Each team is allowed 2 drivers and 1 car. the driver who qualifies the car can not start the car but can finish and each driver has to do 2 stents while wearing the other di=rivers helmet during the 2nd.

2. more sailboats

3. Lets equip each car with a james bond like oil slick feature that is allowed to be used only if the driver is about to be lapped ny the leader.

4. Add a dirt track race

5. No team principle may work for the same F1 team in consecutive weekends and must work for every team at lease once in a season to make it more fair for everyone.

I am sticking to endurance racing mate. This crap is getting rediculous and I can barely stand the sound of the cars anymore.

Blake Duncan said...

I love the idea of more sailboats.

I have to agree with you, though. Endurance racing seems to have a better handle on things than F1. I want to love F1, but the FIA and Bernie seem stubbornly determined to absolutely destroy it.

Anonymous said...

One of your best posts in years! I've missed your sarcasm. The sad thing is that Rule 1 is actually something being looked into by Formula E - this all electric competitor to F1. Viewers can vote with their smart device of choice over which driver gets more boost during a race...

...it's all falling apart man.