Bernie Ecclestone and the Great British Foot in the Mouth

No one has ever shed a tear for Bernie Ecclestone, though many tears have been shed as a result of Bernie Ecclestone. Who is Bernie Ecclestone? He’s the head man of the world’s top motor racing series, Formula 1. He’s also 84 years old, filled with terrible ideas, and a recent victim of open-mouth-insert-foot-itis.

Bernie's normal look of confusion...

See, F1 is struggling under some hard times right now. Smaller teams (Caterham, Marussia, Sauber, Force India, Toro Rosso) are feeling the sting as more and more money is diverted to the, to borrow a college football term, Power 5 teams (Mercedes, McLaren, Red Bull, Ferrari, Williams).

Caterham and Marussia entered administration after the Russian Grand Prix. This rendered the teams incapable of competing at both the America. How did Bernie respond to the situation? By saying:

"Nobody will miss the two teams because they're not front-running teams; they've only got a name that people would know because of the problem they're in. If you want to get recognised, you've got to do something."

He even compared them to Oscar Pistorius, who has been in the news for his lengthy murder trial of girlfriend Reva Steenkamp. Ecclestone said, “This poor guy in South Africa, for instance, has got more interest because of what happened with him than when he was winning gold medals. He won medals and afterwards nobody thought about him. If this case hadn't happened he would have been forgotten, probably. Same with these two teams.”

Ecclestone also flashed out some of his trademark Ferrari favoritism, spouting “You need teams like Ferrari. If they go anywhere and you say to somebody 'Ferrari', they'll know what you are talking about."

It’s good to know that the man in charge of Formula 1 cares so much about the teams. But Bernie wasn’t finished running his mouth. Oh no, far more idiotic drivel was primed to come pouring out.

Ecclestone is, as stated earlier, the head of the highest ranking class of motorsport competition on the planet. His series is well-known for its claim to be the pinnacle of racing technology. And yet, only recently have they truly begun using Twitter in earnest. Bernie, showing off the avuncular good cheer of a lovable luddite, said of social media, "I'm not interested in tweeting, Facebook and whatever this nonsense is. I tried to find out but in any case I'm too old-fashioned. I couldn't see any value in it. And, I don't know what the so-called 'young generation' of today really wants. What is it?"

Yes, Bernie Ecclestone, head of the organization that supposedly leads the world in automotive technological innovation, says Facebook is nonsense. But the most telling quote in that bundle of loosely connected senile thoughts is “I couldn’t see any value in it.” Remember, for Bernie Ecclestone, if something isn’t going to make him another $100 million, he doesn’t care about it. This is a man with a net worth over $4 billion US dollars. His well-publicized squabbles with race promoters reveals an incredible fascination not with providing the best product for his viewers, thereby making him more money in the long term, but with making the most sound, for him and no one else, fiscal investments now for immediate payoffs.

Countries like India, Korea, and others have removed from the F1 calendar because they couldn’t afford Bernie’s exorbitant race fees. Like FIFA, Bernie has a propensity for dealing with governments instead of private investors. Maybe that’s just a European thing, I don’t know…

But Bernie has a way of connecting with an audience…wait, did I say “connecting?”...I meant, alienating…

“…you're telling me I need to find a channel to get this 15-year-old to watch Formula 1 because somebody wants to put out a new brand in front of them? They are not going to be interested in the slightest bit. Young kids will see the Rolex brand, but are they going to go and buy one? They can't afford it. Or our other sponsor, UBS - these kids don't care about banking. They haven't got enough money to put in the bloody banks anyway. That's what I think. I don't know why people want to get to the so-called 'young generation'. Why do they want to do that? Is it to sell them something? Most of these kids haven't got any money.”

One thing we’ve learned from the increasingly incoherent ramblings of this Beatles cover band reject is that he doesn’t seem to believe that people get older or that they can learn to make better financial decisions. But it’s all part of the mystique that is Bernie Ecclestone. And let me tell you, there’s a lot of mystique about this guy…

Take this statement for example: "I'd rather get to the 70-year-old guy who's got plenty of cash. So, there's no point trying to reach these kids because they won't buy any of the products here and if marketers are aiming at this audience, then maybe they should advertise with Disney."

The Bernie Ecclestone School of Modern Marketing, ladies and gentlemen. Only target septuagenarians who have large bank accounts. No teenager will ever grow up and get a job. Nope, from now until eternity the people who are 70 with big banks accounts will forever be 70 with big bank accounts and the teenage hoodlums will forever be teenage hoodlums.

That, in a nutshell, is Bernie Ecclestone. And love him or hate him, Bernie is slowly destroying the sport he helped build into the behemoth it is today.