Today's a big day for me. A really big day. It's my birthday. I'm 25 now. A quarter of a century. Halfway to fifty. It's a big day.
So why, in the name of all that is good and holy, am I writing a blog post?
Well, look at the title. Torn. Remember that knee fluid problem I filled you all in on a few days back? Well, it's not fluid. I have a tear of the meniscus. That's why I've been wandering around on crutches or with a cane, depending upon my mood. That's right. Torn cartilage, table one.
It all started as a recurring knee problem, swelling, pain, general yuckiness. Then my doctor put me on an anti-inflammatory, thinking the fluid would go away. It did go away, but the pain remained. So, off to Southern Orthopedic Specialists I went. After some preliminary x-rays, I met with Dr. Greenwood. He performed a modified version of the McMurray test. It went something like this:
Greenwood: Okay, I'm going to start with your right leg to get a base. (he turns the right foot out to nearly 60 degrees) Does that hurt?
Me: No, not really.
Greenwood: Okay, same thing on the left leg. (he starts to do the same test, but only gets about one-third of the way he did with the right before I say...
Me: Holy crap!
That's how we can to an understanding. I'm now to walk as if every step I take is on ice. Limited stair usage, thankfully there are elevators. I'm scheduled for an MRI on Wednesday, and then I follow-up next week with Dr. Greenwood. In all likelihood, and hopefully, I'll be having surgery to repair it by the end of February.
So, on my 25th birthday I sit staring at surgery.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Ancient History
I'm a history minor. As such, certain things, like old maps, interest me. I like looking at maps drawn before we had GPS and other tools that, while making life easier, completely remove the guesswork.Seriously, what's the fun of looking at a map of North America and seeing everything in minute detail from Key West to Puget Sound? It is vastly more entertaining to roll out an old parchment and see, like above, Florida barely sticking out of the United States, or, instead of the Pacific Northwest, you have a river that is labelled "Northwest Passage," yet no one ever found it. My favorite is the ocean charts that have 'Here be Monsters" drawn on them. Obviously the work of a drunken sailor after a long shift in the Crow's Nest.
So last night I was talking to Robert, the founder of Skewed, and he told me about an old 2-volume history book he'd come across. It was published circa 1875 and had a map inside that labelled parts of Asia as "Nether Asia." This sparked a lively few minutes of jokes.
Jokes like:
"Yeah, it's like when Alexander and his men reached Afghanistan... and saw people. He probably turned to one of his men and said, "I say Marcus, doesn't the map say no one his here?"
"It does, sir."
"Well who the devil are these people?"
"I'm not sure, sir."
"Hang on, excuse me, good people... uh... um... who are you and why are you here? Our map clearly states this to be the edge of the Great River."
And then a tribesman approaches, "Well, we live here, see. Always have."
"No, the map says you haven't. We are Greek, our maps are never wrong."
"Let me see that. Well, here's your problem. You've got us listed as Nether Asia, this is Afghanistan. And you've got a giant river just beyond our border. And you've listed some fellow named Prometheus in the mountains."
"Which is there by the grace of the gods. And who was placed there by the gods for his insubordination."
"No it isn't. And no he wasn't. The only person in the mountains is Old man Herbert, he runs a ham radio station. And if you keep going east, just past Ackbar's fruit stand, you'll see a bunch of big mountains. Beyond those are more lands with lots of rice and people in funny hats."
At which point the Duke of Edinburgh popped in and said "Don't stay there too long or you'll get all slitty-eyed."
Ther you go kids. I know it was short, but remember, never pass up a chance to view an old map.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
A Mixed-Bag
The Right Wing is not responsible for any harm that may come to its readers as a result of this entry.
NFL NEWS
It finally happened. David finally slew Goliath. It's like the Red Sox overcoming the Yankees all over again. Sunday night witnessed perhaps the greatest conference championship game in NFL history. The Colts, once down 21-3, stormed back in the second half and knocked off superstar Tom Brady and the Pats 38-34. Once again, the Patriots won't play for the Lombardi Trophy. I, for one, am glad. I nearly cried. I love the Colts, but my love of Indy pales in comparison to the level of hatred I have for the New England Patriots. Go Colts.
NHL NEWS
In other, less exciting news, the NHL unveiled their "sleeker" uniforms today. I wasn't thrilled when I first heard that the uniform design was changing. But I've seen the pictures, and I really don't mind the change. The differences seem subtle. Thank the good Lord they didn't bring back the old Vancouver "V" uniform. (sorry about the photo quality)
GOVERNMENT AFFAIRS
Tonight is the night of a thousand words. That's right, George W. Bush will deliver his seventh State of the Union speech tonight. For those of you that drink, there's an interesting drinking game that will likely render you comatose after the first ten minutes.
1. Every time the entire assembly gives a standing applause, take a drink.
2. Every time the Republican side of the aisle gives a standing applause, take a drink.
3. Every time the Democratic side of the aisle gives a standing applause, take a drink.
4. Whenever a close-up shot shows someone in the audience crying, take a drink.
5. Whenever a member of either party is shown sitting down while others stand and applaud, take a drink.
6. This is the trickiest one. For however many minutes it takes the networks to air the Democrat Party response to the speech, take a drink. (i.e.: if it takes 12 minutes for them to air Nancy Pelosi telling you what Bush said wrong, take 12 drinks.)
I'm more than certain some of you will die from playing this drinking game. If you do, the Right Wing is not responsible for your death. I merely told you about the game, I didn't make you play it.
Contest Time
The Right Wing is announcing a one-time contest for its readers.
It's a simple bit of trivia. Since it is State of the Union time in the United states, it's also time for one member of the Cabinet, or anyone of any influence in Washington, to be spirited away to a bunker somewhere in Nebraska, just in the event that the Capitol building is reduced to burning cinders at some point during the speech.
To win the contest, merely send us a comment to this post telling us the name of the Bush Cabinet member, or Washington insider, not present at tonight's speech, and what position they hold.
The winner will receive special mention in an upcoming Right Wing post.
Sanjay Speaks
Hello readers. Sanjay here. I've been screening your calls for sometime now, ever since Blake loosened up a let me out of the broom closet. I've been hearing from many of you that our "Greater Good" segment is a missing part of the blog. Well, I'm here to rectify that error.
The Greater Good, as most of you recall, is not a religious call to arms, nor is it a political ploy. It is simply the act of kindness toward your fellow man. Blake and I agree that this lost segment is due a revival of sorts.
The first call to the Greater Good in 2007 is to inconsiderate drivers. You know who you are. You are the people who drive like you are the only person on the road. Just the other day, a gloomy, rainy day, I was driving in to the office here at RW. The speed limit is 45 mph, which isn't fast, but when the roads are slick, it's probably in your best interest to adhere a bit to it. Anyway, I'm on a four-lane road approaching the office when some idiot flies around me at about 65 miles per hour, with no lights on, in a dark gray truck, on a very rainy overcast day. Lack of visibility aside, it's not true to the Greater Good to drive like your hair is on fire or like you just dropped your cigarette lighter into your crotch when your experiencing a mild downpour.
That's only one of many. Blake tells me every other day about the local moron who somehow passed the driving exam. Maybe it's time to institute change. Perhaps you should go through a three-step learners program from age 15-17, then get your actual driver's license at age 18. That might help.
Anyway, the Greater Good will frequently be revisited, we hope.
For myself, Blake, and whoever else might be in the office today, good luck, and my God bless.
NFL NEWS
It finally happened. David finally slew Goliath. It's like the Red Sox overcoming the Yankees all over again. Sunday night witnessed perhaps the greatest conference championship game in NFL history. The Colts, once down 21-3, stormed back in the second half and knocked off superstar Tom Brady and the Pats 38-34. Once again, the Patriots won't play for the Lombardi Trophy. I, for one, am glad. I nearly cried. I love the Colts, but my love of Indy pales in comparison to the level of hatred I have for the New England Patriots. Go Colts.NHL NEWS
In other, less exciting news, the NHL unveiled their "sleeker" uniforms today. I wasn't thrilled when I first heard that the uniform design was changing. But I've seen the pictures, and I really don't mind the change. The differences seem subtle. Thank the good Lord they didn't bring back the old Vancouver "V" uniform. (sorry about the photo quality)GOVERNMENT AFFAIRS
Tonight is the night of a thousand words. That's right, George W. Bush will deliver his seventh State of the Union speech tonight. For those of you that drink, there's an interesting drinking game that will likely render you comatose after the first ten minutes.
1. Every time the entire assembly gives a standing applause, take a drink.
2. Every time the Republican side of the aisle gives a standing applause, take a drink.
3. Every time the Democratic side of the aisle gives a standing applause, take a drink.
4. Whenever a close-up shot shows someone in the audience crying, take a drink.
5. Whenever a member of either party is shown sitting down while others stand and applaud, take a drink.
6. This is the trickiest one. For however many minutes it takes the networks to air the Democrat Party response to the speech, take a drink. (i.e.: if it takes 12 minutes for them to air Nancy Pelosi telling you what Bush said wrong, take 12 drinks.)
I'm more than certain some of you will die from playing this drinking game. If you do, the Right Wing is not responsible for your death. I merely told you about the game, I didn't make you play it.
Contest Time
The Right Wing is announcing a one-time contest for its readers.
It's a simple bit of trivia. Since it is State of the Union time in the United states, it's also time for one member of the Cabinet, or anyone of any influence in Washington, to be spirited away to a bunker somewhere in Nebraska, just in the event that the Capitol building is reduced to burning cinders at some point during the speech.
To win the contest, merely send us a comment to this post telling us the name of the Bush Cabinet member, or Washington insider, not present at tonight's speech, and what position they hold.
The winner will receive special mention in an upcoming Right Wing post.
Sanjay Speaks
Hello readers. Sanjay here. I've been screening your calls for sometime now, ever since Blake loosened up a let me out of the broom closet. I've been hearing from many of you that our "Greater Good" segment is a missing part of the blog. Well, I'm here to rectify that error.
The Greater Good, as most of you recall, is not a religious call to arms, nor is it a political ploy. It is simply the act of kindness toward your fellow man. Blake and I agree that this lost segment is due a revival of sorts.
The first call to the Greater Good in 2007 is to inconsiderate drivers. You know who you are. You are the people who drive like you are the only person on the road. Just the other day, a gloomy, rainy day, I was driving in to the office here at RW. The speed limit is 45 mph, which isn't fast, but when the roads are slick, it's probably in your best interest to adhere a bit to it. Anyway, I'm on a four-lane road approaching the office when some idiot flies around me at about 65 miles per hour, with no lights on, in a dark gray truck, on a very rainy overcast day. Lack of visibility aside, it's not true to the Greater Good to drive like your hair is on fire or like you just dropped your cigarette lighter into your crotch when your experiencing a mild downpour.
That's only one of many. Blake tells me every other day about the local moron who somehow passed the driving exam. Maybe it's time to institute change. Perhaps you should go through a three-step learners program from age 15-17, then get your actual driver's license at age 18. That might help.
Anyway, the Greater Good will frequently be revisited, we hope.
For myself, Blake, and whoever else might be in the office today, good luck, and my God bless.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Football Predictions
AFC:
Game One: Indianapolis at Baltimore
Okay, Baltimore is the obvious choice here. That's why I'm picking Indy for the upset. This is all dependent on which Colts team shows up. Will we see the regular season Colts (Oh, he's rushing. Okay, guys let him go, we can score 40 points on these guys, we don't have to play defense.) or will we get the playoff Colts of last weeks (Well, we stopped the run but Peyton threw 3 picks. Oh well, we still won.)? If the latter shows up, it'll be a tight game, likely decided by a last second field goal, at which point I'll be happy to see a Vinatieri kick.
Predition: Colts 27, Ravens 24
Game Two: New England at San Diego
The Chargers enter this game as an enigma, which doesn't often happen for a 14-2 team. The Pats are a playoff team, and by that I mean they rarely choke when the big game rolls around. Well, this is big folks. Powerhouses colliding big. That being said, I like the Chargers. I think they have too much on offense for New England to overcome. Antonio Gates and LaDanian Tomlinson will expose the Pats secondary, and LT will put in at 130 yards on the ground.
Prediction: Chargers take it 31-21
NFC:
Game One: Philadelphia at New Orleans
The Saints are the feel good story of the year. A city devastated, the fans turn to their football team, a perennial loser. Well, the planets aligned, Reggie Bush fell into their lap, Marques Colston proved to be just as valuable as Bush, and the Saints played strong all year, finishing 11-5. The Eagles, on the other hand, watched Donovan McNabb go down to injury. All seemed lost until Jeff Garcia stepped in and proved that the crafty veteran can be just as good as the young gun. Philly has the hot hand right now.
Prediction: Philadelphia 23, New Orleans 17
Game Two: Seattle at Chicago
This is the hardest game to pick. Chicago has been as much as an 8 point favorite, but I don't see it. Grossman has to become an incredible quarterback in a very short time to pull that off. Remember, this is the same Rex Grossman who had a passer rating on 1.7 in a game earlier this season. Seattle gained a lot of momentum from a one point win over Dallas. Look for Hasselbeck and Alexander to take the 'Hawks to the NFC championship for a second straight season.
Prediction: Seattle 20, Chicago 13
Game One: Indianapolis at Baltimore
Okay, Baltimore is the obvious choice here. That's why I'm picking Indy for the upset. This is all dependent on which Colts team shows up. Will we see the regular season Colts (Oh, he's rushing. Okay, guys let him go, we can score 40 points on these guys, we don't have to play defense.) or will we get the playoff Colts of last weeks (Well, we stopped the run but Peyton threw 3 picks. Oh well, we still won.)? If the latter shows up, it'll be a tight game, likely decided by a last second field goal, at which point I'll be happy to see a Vinatieri kick.
Predition: Colts 27, Ravens 24
Game Two: New England at San Diego
The Chargers enter this game as an enigma, which doesn't often happen for a 14-2 team. The Pats are a playoff team, and by that I mean they rarely choke when the big game rolls around. Well, this is big folks. Powerhouses colliding big. That being said, I like the Chargers. I think they have too much on offense for New England to overcome. Antonio Gates and LaDanian Tomlinson will expose the Pats secondary, and LT will put in at 130 yards on the ground.
Prediction: Chargers take it 31-21
NFC:
Game One: Philadelphia at New Orleans
The Saints are the feel good story of the year. A city devastated, the fans turn to their football team, a perennial loser. Well, the planets aligned, Reggie Bush fell into their lap, Marques Colston proved to be just as valuable as Bush, and the Saints played strong all year, finishing 11-5. The Eagles, on the other hand, watched Donovan McNabb go down to injury. All seemed lost until Jeff Garcia stepped in and proved that the crafty veteran can be just as good as the young gun. Philly has the hot hand right now.
Prediction: Philadelphia 23, New Orleans 17
Game Two: Seattle at Chicago
This is the hardest game to pick. Chicago has been as much as an 8 point favorite, but I don't see it. Grossman has to become an incredible quarterback in a very short time to pull that off. Remember, this is the same Rex Grossman who had a passer rating on 1.7 in a game earlier this season. Seattle gained a lot of momentum from a one point win over Dallas. Look for Hasselbeck and Alexander to take the 'Hawks to the NFC championship for a second straight season.
Prediction: Seattle 20, Chicago 13
Friday, January 12, 2007
Sampler Platter
The name says it all.
1. I've read Rennie's post about the President, and I have to agree. I'll admit I voted for the man twice. The first time because I thought he could be a good President who would work with Congress and his cabinet. The second time was, as Robert so eloquently put it one time, his party could only find a dweeble as a candidate. I'm tired of the war. The goal has been reached. There were WMDs found, they were semi-dormant containers that WE had given Saddam during the Iran conflict. That's right, the US state department had enough whiskey one night to look at Saddam and say "You're a snuggy bear, we're gonna give you Anthrax." (Lewis Black)
2. Parking at NGCSU continues to circle the drain. Now, in an even more brilliant move, the college has closed off parts of the campus where absolutely no work is going on, but were instead places the students used to congregate. Brilliant.
3. This weather has constantly gone from one extreme to the other, and the CNN weatherman earlier today couldn't understand why the southeast was experiencing the largest flu outbreak in the nation.
1. I've read Rennie's post about the President, and I have to agree. I'll admit I voted for the man twice. The first time because I thought he could be a good President who would work with Congress and his cabinet. The second time was, as Robert so eloquently put it one time, his party could only find a dweeble as a candidate. I'm tired of the war. The goal has been reached. There were WMDs found, they were semi-dormant containers that WE had given Saddam during the Iran conflict. That's right, the US state department had enough whiskey one night to look at Saddam and say "You're a snuggy bear, we're gonna give you Anthrax." (Lewis Black)
2. Parking at NGCSU continues to circle the drain. Now, in an even more brilliant move, the college has closed off parts of the campus where absolutely no work is going on, but were instead places the students used to congregate. Brilliant.
3. This weather has constantly gone from one extreme to the other, and the CNN weatherman earlier today couldn't understand why the southeast was experiencing the largest flu outbreak in the nation.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Post 45: Let the Games Begin
Alright kids, we're back in the groove known as Spring Semester. I'd hoped to be rid of you people by May, but turns out we'll have to deal with each other until December. Like roomates from different cultures, this partnership is sure to go sour, but it'll make one great ABC sitcom.
I'm writing this to you from the scenic Computer Lab on the first floor of Dunlap hall.
Let's start with the obvious. Parking. Bane of the commuter. I've solved this problem by parking at my friend's apartment on the beautiful Dahlonega square and walking to class, but not everyone has that luxury. Plus, it's not really the greatest for me as I learned this morning that I have fluid build-up on my left knee. I'm in a knee brace now that allows my leg to bend about three degrees and that's that. So it took a bit longer to walk over here, I need the exercise.
Now there's seemingly 18,000 students car-jousting for 35 spaces. You see, NGCSU, in their infinite wisdom, closed off about half of the commuter lots in order to, and you'd better sit down for the load of irony that's about to hit you, build a parking deck. Typical institutional thinking. Did they offer to make parking available elsewhere? No. Did they look in to opening a temporary parking lot off-campus and running shuttle buses back and forth? Nope. Did they single-handedly screw up a semester's worth of parking? You bet your butt they did.
Let's move on to the less-obvious. I'm going it alone this semester. My trusty gang of Grubbs and Rennie are gone. Retired, if you will, to a community of twenty-somethings in Florida. Playing Bingo every Tuesday and telling anyone who will listen about their grandkids that they don't even have. I'm happy for them, and I'm curious to see what will happen to my grades this time around. I made four Bs and two As last semester. If I can get better then I'll know those two kept me down.
Now, the portion of the show called "What I Missed Most." I get to see the whiny freshmeat... er freshmen, again. This time they've got one semester of experience under their belts and they're ticked off about it. They obviously know everything. Well, as resident Jaded Senior, it falls my lot to remind them of somethings Rennie said last semester, simply to reiterate a few points.
1. I don't care about your problems, that's why they're called your problems.
2. I have my own work to do, don't ask me where certain places are. I can tell you're lost, but it's still your problem.
3. I need to graduate in December, so professors, please go easy on a worn down soul.
4. I'm tired already, stupid knee fluid.
So that's my story. Day one of Spring Semester 2007. Look for special editions of the Right Wing throughout the next few months. Also, Sanjay returns from the broom closet with a new perspective on life.
Good night, and good luck.
I'm writing this to you from the scenic Computer Lab on the first floor of Dunlap hall.
Let's start with the obvious. Parking. Bane of the commuter. I've solved this problem by parking at my friend's apartment on the beautiful Dahlonega square and walking to class, but not everyone has that luxury. Plus, it's not really the greatest for me as I learned this morning that I have fluid build-up on my left knee. I'm in a knee brace now that allows my leg to bend about three degrees and that's that. So it took a bit longer to walk over here, I need the exercise.
Now there's seemingly 18,000 students car-jousting for 35 spaces. You see, NGCSU, in their infinite wisdom, closed off about half of the commuter lots in order to, and you'd better sit down for the load of irony that's about to hit you, build a parking deck. Typical institutional thinking. Did they offer to make parking available elsewhere? No. Did they look in to opening a temporary parking lot off-campus and running shuttle buses back and forth? Nope. Did they single-handedly screw up a semester's worth of parking? You bet your butt they did.
Let's move on to the less-obvious. I'm going it alone this semester. My trusty gang of Grubbs and Rennie are gone. Retired, if you will, to a community of twenty-somethings in Florida. Playing Bingo every Tuesday and telling anyone who will listen about their grandkids that they don't even have. I'm happy for them, and I'm curious to see what will happen to my grades this time around. I made four Bs and two As last semester. If I can get better then I'll know those two kept me down.
Now, the portion of the show called "What I Missed Most." I get to see the whiny freshmeat... er freshmen, again. This time they've got one semester of experience under their belts and they're ticked off about it. They obviously know everything. Well, as resident Jaded Senior, it falls my lot to remind them of somethings Rennie said last semester, simply to reiterate a few points.
1. I don't care about your problems, that's why they're called your problems.
2. I have my own work to do, don't ask me where certain places are. I can tell you're lost, but it's still your problem.
3. I need to graduate in December, so professors, please go easy on a worn down soul.
4. I'm tired already, stupid knee fluid.
So that's my story. Day one of Spring Semester 2007. Look for special editions of the Right Wing throughout the next few months. Also, Sanjay returns from the broom closet with a new perspective on life.
Good night, and good luck.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
The End of an Era, Fox-style
FoxTrot to Cease Dailies
Kansas City, MO (12/05/2006) Bill Amend’s popular FoxTrot comic strip will go to a Sunday-only publication schedule as of Dec. 31, 2006, announced Universal Press Syndicate today. The last daily will be Saturday, Dec. 30. Reruns of dailies will be available for Web usage.
“After spending close to half of my life writing and drawing FoxTrot cartoons, I think it’s time I got out of the house and tried some new things,” said Amend. “I love cartooning and I absolutely want to continue doing the strip, just not at the current all-consuming pace. I’ve been blessed over the years with a terrific syndicate, patient newspaper clients, and more support from readers than I probably deserve, and I want to assure them all that while I’ll be now a less-frequent participant on the comics pages, I’ll continue to treat my visits as the special privilege they are.”
Amend, who started the strip in April, 1988, and who has more than 1,000 client newspapers, is taking time to pursue other creative outlets. “In addition to Sunday newspapers, we may see FoxTrot entertaining us in other kinds of media platforms,” says Lee Salem, president and editor of Universal Press Syndicate.
Amend has more than 30 published FoxTrot comic collections and has licensed his characters for calendars and wallpapers for cell phones. He was nominated in 2006 as a finalist for cartoonist of the year by the National Cartoonists Society’s Reuben Award.
Creator(s): Bill Amend
I put that first in today's entry, mainly because I'm somewhat shocked, but mostly saddened at this news. Now, before we all get so emotional that we lose bladder control, FoxTrot is not going away, it's just moving to Sunday's only.
If you're anything like me, which thank God most people aren't, you've loved FoxTrot for years. I've got most of his books, from the very beginning. And yes, like most strips, you can see where the joke recycling began. It's obviously very difficult to maintain constant humor throughout the years, and Bill Amend has done a great job of just that.
Lately, new strips have risen and are gaining popularity. My personal favorite is Get Fuzzy, which I think everyone should read everyday. FoxTrot hasn't lost anything in terms of talent, it's merely been thrown into a much more crowded pool.
Amend claims a desire to pursue other aspects in life, and I wish him the best. You brought us a great comic strip, Mr. Amend, and I look forward to Sundays. Now, sir, have a great life.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
ylgu eht, dab eht, doog eht
It's been a hectic week in the life of Blake. The Right Wing has suffered from a lack of posts, due in part to Blake's constant hockey game attendance and his apparent disregard for all things blogging. As such, I'm stepping in to take over as lead blogger here at The Right Wing. That's right, Sanjay is taking the lead. Now, I know most of you already think of me as lead blogger, but the fact of the matter is......
*series of loud crashes, whimpers, crying*
Thank you, Sanjay, for warming up the crowd. I'll let you out of that broom closet when you're ready to apologize for your attempted mutiny.
The last week has been hectic, Sanjay got that right. There was the explosion last post. I liken it to a scene in Scrubs, where Carla has told Turk that she and JD kissed. The shoiw goes to commercial and when it comes back the entire cafeteria is trashed. JD has a tomoato slice stuck to his forehead and Turk says "Okay, admittedly I lost my cool here." That's what happened, I swear. Then the series of consecutive hockey games, during which the team I pull for went 1-3. Now, to explain the title of this entry... well, no, I'm not going to explain it, you figure it out.
ylgu ehT:
Gwinnett won the last game I went to, last Friday. That was good. But the Atlanta Thrashers have lost four in a row, and three that I attended. Thankfully attendance at the games is not suffering because of it. Last night Atlanta looked like a junior league team. They wouldn't go to the puck. Of course, the refs had a hand in some of it. Everytime the goalie touched the puck they blew the whistle. Even if the goalie was going to play it out, the refs stopped play. I hope they had a black unmarked car waiting to carry them from the arena quickly.
dab ehT:
So many losses. That's all I can say.
doog ehT:
Wednesday night I went to the Thrashers game with Davis, and Robert, and Grubbs. Even though we lost, it was the most fun I've had in a long time. Robert's hooked on the greatest game now. Grubbs and I already were hooked, and Davis is just Davis. If you ever get a chance to talk to Davis, take it, you'll feel better afterwards, he's that kind of guy.
The fun was in rehashing our old stories. Grubbs and Rennie are grads now, which means I'll actually get work done next semester. Davis had never heard any of our stories, so it was a new experience for him. Remember, Rennie, "Colors. Horrible, horrible colors."
And.... grades are in for the last semester. I survived with four Bs and two As. I'll take it.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Let's Try to Get a Grip, Alright?
I'm a little dour as I sit here to type this entry. Yes, I'm glad the smester has ended, but tonight was not fun. I'll clue you in on some things: I'm single. I've been single for quite a while. It really doesn't bother me until I get the crazy relationship people asking "Why aren't you dating anyone? Where's your girlfriend?"
I'm cool every other time. Yes, I get depressed about being single, what guy doesn't? But I also realize that, as a single man, I don't have to buy things for a girlfriend, so I have more money. I've got some alone time, which after this last semester is a welcome break.
Tonight, the crap hit the fan in fun and exciting new ways. Maybe I'm being over-sensitive about it. My circle of friends at home isn't huge, there are about ten people in it. Tonight eight of us were together, just hanging out. I'm single and so is my friend. The other six are in relationships. It being Christmas time, we began to plan for the yearly party. Well, the couples began planning solely for themselves and left the two single people out of it. They probably didn't even recognize that they did, I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.
I became frustrated. There was no cause for me to be angry, but neither was there cause for the planning to become solely couples-oriented. This carried on for about an hour until I had had all I could stand. I stood up, grabbed my stuff, said goodbye, and left. I walked out the door on people who have been my friends for years. But this night wasn't my night, and I went over the edge.
So I stand here to say to my friends, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let it bother me. But seriously, you guys to get a grip, okay. I'm happy your in a relationship, but you don't have to rub it in my face that I'm not. I was okay being single, you've successfully made me feel like it's bad that I am.
Get over yourselves.
Signed,
An Angry, but repentent, Blogger
I'm cool every other time. Yes, I get depressed about being single, what guy doesn't? But I also realize that, as a single man, I don't have to buy things for a girlfriend, so I have more money. I've got some alone time, which after this last semester is a welcome break.
Tonight, the crap hit the fan in fun and exciting new ways. Maybe I'm being over-sensitive about it. My circle of friends at home isn't huge, there are about ten people in it. Tonight eight of us were together, just hanging out. I'm single and so is my friend. The other six are in relationships. It being Christmas time, we began to plan for the yearly party. Well, the couples began planning solely for themselves and left the two single people out of it. They probably didn't even recognize that they did, I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.
I became frustrated. There was no cause for me to be angry, but neither was there cause for the planning to become solely couples-oriented. This carried on for about an hour until I had had all I could stand. I stood up, grabbed my stuff, said goodbye, and left. I walked out the door on people who have been my friends for years. But this night wasn't my night, and I went over the edge.
So I stand here to say to my friends, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let it bother me. But seriously, you guys to get a grip, okay. I'm happy your in a relationship, but you don't have to rub it in my face that I'm not. I was okay being single, you've successfully made me feel like it's bad that I am.
Get over yourselves.
Signed,
An Angry, but repentent, Blogger
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Remember Me?
Hi there. I'm Blake, your friendly resident blogger here at the Right Wing. As you can tell from some of the recent posts here, life has been rather hectic for the last few weeks. Well, I've muscled my way past the lack of sleep and the hours of writing that went in to completing Fall 2006 as a semester, and I've moved on.
Now, the college student enters a period of total fear known as the "grades are gonna be posted when?" phase. Every student sits on the edge of the seat,or in my case, flat on his back in bed, waiting for the collective professorship of North Georgia College and state University to post final grades. Thankfully I already know one of them. I dropped by to wish one of my professors a merry Christmas (that's right, ACLU, I still say Christmas and so does my calendar), and he proceeded to tell me that grades were in. After a few nail-biting seconds he says, "Let's see, you squeaked by on the final with a 94 and you finished with an 88 in the class." I was, to say the least, thrilled. I called everyone I knew and bragged for a minute. Before you say anything, you make a 94 on a Middle Eastern History exam, then we'll talk.
So now come the long, cold, bleak hours before the webpage is updated to include final grades. I'm hoping that I did well. I see no reason to panic, as every final went off without a hitch. The only thing I have to fear is the African-American literature final. I'm convinced that I could write the equivalent of "Lord of the Rings" and this woman would give me a C. Anyway, her final was Saturday, that's right, kids, a Saturday final, so I lost an entire day of work because of it. But, I knocked it out of the park.
So, here we are again. We wait. And wait and wait and wait. This is the time of year when professors torment students by continually holding out. Thankfully, this crazy ride ends soon. The train is pulling up to the platform, all that's left is for george carlin to punch our tickets so we can leave.
RELATED NOTES:
Saturday night I went to the Thrashers-Penguins game. My uncle was given three tickets and a parking pass, so he took me and my dad. We parked in the owners/players lot, two spaces down from Don Waddell. Our seats were a mere hundred or so feet from the car (for those of you nt in the know, that's close, very close). I meet Jeff Odgers near our suite, and watched a sloppy game featuring some of the best young talent in the league. Atlanta has Ilya Kovalchuk, Kari Lehtonen, and Marian Hossa. Pittsburgh has Sidney Crosby, Jordan Staal, and Evgeni Malkin. If you are ever blessed with the opportunity to watch Malkin, take it. The kid is a beast. By the way, the Pens won 4-3 in overtime. Rennie, Grubbs, Davis and I will be hitting the ATL Wednesday night to watch the Thrash take on Anaheim in what is sure to be a great game.
PREDICTION TIME
Everyone knows I'm fairly good at predictions. I said that Troy Smith would win the Heisman (okay, that's a no-brainer), so we'll go back a bit. Last summer I said that the final score to the final game of the NBA finals would be Miami 97-92 over Dallas. The final score was 95-92 Miami. I don't even watch basketball.
So here are the BCS bowl games, final score predictions:
Orange Bowl:
Louisville 35, Wake Forest 14
Sugar Bowl:
LSU 28, Notre Dame 10
Fiesta Bowl:
Oklahoma 31, Boise State 28
Rose Bowl:
Michigan 38, USC 31
BCS National Championship Game:
Ohio State 24, Florida 18
(I said at the end of the Rose Bowl last year that Ohio State would be national champs this season and I'm sticking with it.)
Well, there you go kids, enjoy. I'll be back a bit more regularly now that the semester has ended. And glory to God I'l be back to normal instead of manic depressive. G'night, Gracie.
Now, the college student enters a period of total fear known as the "grades are gonna be posted when?" phase. Every student sits on the edge of the seat,or in my case, flat on his back in bed, waiting for the collective professorship of North Georgia College and state University to post final grades. Thankfully I already know one of them. I dropped by to wish one of my professors a merry Christmas (that's right, ACLU, I still say Christmas and so does my calendar), and he proceeded to tell me that grades were in. After a few nail-biting seconds he says, "Let's see, you squeaked by on the final with a 94 and you finished with an 88 in the class." I was, to say the least, thrilled. I called everyone I knew and bragged for a minute. Before you say anything, you make a 94 on a Middle Eastern History exam, then we'll talk.
So now come the long, cold, bleak hours before the webpage is updated to include final grades. I'm hoping that I did well. I see no reason to panic, as every final went off without a hitch. The only thing I have to fear is the African-American literature final. I'm convinced that I could write the equivalent of "Lord of the Rings" and this woman would give me a C. Anyway, her final was Saturday, that's right, kids, a Saturday final, so I lost an entire day of work because of it. But, I knocked it out of the park.
So, here we are again. We wait. And wait and wait and wait. This is the time of year when professors torment students by continually holding out. Thankfully, this crazy ride ends soon. The train is pulling up to the platform, all that's left is for george carlin to punch our tickets so we can leave.
RELATED NOTES:
Saturday night I went to the Thrashers-Penguins game. My uncle was given three tickets and a parking pass, so he took me and my dad. We parked in the owners/players lot, two spaces down from Don Waddell. Our seats were a mere hundred or so feet from the car (for those of you nt in the know, that's close, very close). I meet Jeff Odgers near our suite, and watched a sloppy game featuring some of the best young talent in the league. Atlanta has Ilya Kovalchuk, Kari Lehtonen, and Marian Hossa. Pittsburgh has Sidney Crosby, Jordan Staal, and Evgeni Malkin. If you are ever blessed with the opportunity to watch Malkin, take it. The kid is a beast. By the way, the Pens won 4-3 in overtime. Rennie, Grubbs, Davis and I will be hitting the ATL Wednesday night to watch the Thrash take on Anaheim in what is sure to be a great game.
PREDICTION TIME
Everyone knows I'm fairly good at predictions. I said that Troy Smith would win the Heisman (okay, that's a no-brainer), so we'll go back a bit. Last summer I said that the final score to the final game of the NBA finals would be Miami 97-92 over Dallas. The final score was 95-92 Miami. I don't even watch basketball.
So here are the BCS bowl games, final score predictions:
Orange Bowl:
Louisville 35, Wake Forest 14
Sugar Bowl:
LSU 28, Notre Dame 10
Fiesta Bowl:
Oklahoma 31, Boise State 28
Rose Bowl:
Michigan 38, USC 31
BCS National Championship Game:
Ohio State 24, Florida 18
(I said at the end of the Rose Bowl last year that Ohio State would be national champs this season and I'm sticking with it.)
Well, there you go kids, enjoy. I'll be back a bit more regularly now that the semester has ended. And glory to God I'l be back to normal instead of manic depressive. G'night, Gracie.
Monday, December 04, 2006
The Jaded Senior Reformed
Lately the posts here at the Right Wing have been light-hearted. But now we must discuss something serious. Robert called it the perfect storm, the precise moment when three jaded seniors simultaneously snapped and spat fire and brimstone on each other while people fled in terror.
Grubbs has his excuse: he hasn't slept enough, he's single, and he stressed. The same excuse applies to Robert and to me. We're all tired. Not one of us has had the proper amount of sleep since midterms. I just learned that, instead of graduating in May, I'm stuck there until at least December 2007.
But you know what, guys? What do we really have to stress over? Tests? At least our tests are written exams.
For some reason, the thought came to me today: we're not parents at St. Jude watching a newborn struggle for life. We're not a child whose parent is on their deathbed. We're not homeless and fear-stricken because of this cold weather that's coming. We're not soldiers putting our lives on the line for peple we've likely never met, nor never will meet. We're not waiting on the doctor to call us with results that could mean life or death.
We're students. That's all. We're all striving for the same goal. Sure, this semester has been rough.
I'm going to attempt to describe this in a whimsical manner. If you're ever watched the TV show Futurama, you may be familiar with an episode in which everyone on earth is given a $300 tax rebate to spend however they want. Fry, the main character, decides to purchase 100 cups of coffee. By the end of the episode, Fry has inhaled 99 cups and is jittery and spastic. The room he is in catches on fire. Fry single-mindedly grabs his hundreth cup of coffee. At that precise moment the world slows down. Fry watch a hummingbird flap its wings. He saves everyone from the fire and the show ends happily. That's what happened to me driving home tonight. I had a moment where the stress was nearly pushing me over the edge. I began frantically tuning through radio stations. Then I hit 104.7. They've been playing Christmas music. My moment of zen occurred then. EVerything seemed to stop and I was able to catch my breath. Am I still kinda stressed? You bet, but it doesn't bother me so much now.
I personally have never been through a semester like this. I'm only a few inches from going over the edge, but I'm still standing, and now I'm on firmer footing. I'm going to walk away from this semester. I'm not going to let things take me down.
I'm not going to watch one teacher destroy my semester because she doesn't understand the basic premise of collegiate students having their own ideas. This semester will not beat me.
Therefore, I am now a jaded senior reformed. I know what to expect, and I'm going to meet it head-on.
So, in the spirit of political incorrectness: Merry Christmas, and God Bless.
Grubbs has his excuse: he hasn't slept enough, he's single, and he stressed. The same excuse applies to Robert and to me. We're all tired. Not one of us has had the proper amount of sleep since midterms. I just learned that, instead of graduating in May, I'm stuck there until at least December 2007.
But you know what, guys? What do we really have to stress over? Tests? At least our tests are written exams.
For some reason, the thought came to me today: we're not parents at St. Jude watching a newborn struggle for life. We're not a child whose parent is on their deathbed. We're not homeless and fear-stricken because of this cold weather that's coming. We're not soldiers putting our lives on the line for peple we've likely never met, nor never will meet. We're not waiting on the doctor to call us with results that could mean life or death.
We're students. That's all. We're all striving for the same goal. Sure, this semester has been rough.
I'm going to attempt to describe this in a whimsical manner. If you're ever watched the TV show Futurama, you may be familiar with an episode in which everyone on earth is given a $300 tax rebate to spend however they want. Fry, the main character, decides to purchase 100 cups of coffee. By the end of the episode, Fry has inhaled 99 cups and is jittery and spastic. The room he is in catches on fire. Fry single-mindedly grabs his hundreth cup of coffee. At that precise moment the world slows down. Fry watch a hummingbird flap its wings. He saves everyone from the fire and the show ends happily. That's what happened to me driving home tonight. I had a moment where the stress was nearly pushing me over the edge. I began frantically tuning through radio stations. Then I hit 104.7. They've been playing Christmas music. My moment of zen occurred then. EVerything seemed to stop and I was able to catch my breath. Am I still kinda stressed? You bet, but it doesn't bother me so much now.
I personally have never been through a semester like this. I'm only a few inches from going over the edge, but I'm still standing, and now I'm on firmer footing. I'm going to walk away from this semester. I'm not going to let things take me down.
I'm not going to watch one teacher destroy my semester because she doesn't understand the basic premise of collegiate students having their own ideas. This semester will not beat me.
Therefore, I am now a jaded senior reformed. I know what to expect, and I'm going to meet it head-on.
So, in the spirit of political incorrectness: Merry Christmas, and God Bless.
Friday, December 01, 2006
The Insanity Continues
Sanjay here, keeping real until Blake's mental capacities return to normal.
Here's the deal. The semester is almost over. As a result of this, Blake has gone head-first into the left field deep end crazies. Honestly, I think he needs a room with padded walls.
He sent me these pictures and a letter saying that my Christmas bonus was being spent on tickets. Apparently, he and Grubbs, and that Rennie fellow over at Skewed are going to a hockey game at some point in December, a game to which I did not merit an invite. Fred, did you get one? Akbar? Burro? Samuel L. Jackson? No. Crap. Now that Rennie and Grubbs are graduating, well, Blake's a little worse for wear.
Of course, in Blake's defense, he's had a rough semester. Troubles with his internship, a teacher that he's reported twice to the department head, too many papers, leanring he's got another semester before graduation, his grandmother was sick and he has even more papers to write. It's been a long time since I've seen so much stuff hit one person at one time.
But things are settling down. Maybe Blake will be back soon. I heard he taught Rennie how to do math, but that may be a vicious rumor. He's also kinda stumped about this whole Wikipedia article that appeared.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Sanjay Talks Sports and Stuff
Hey guys, Sanjay here. Blake's on a bit of a mental vacation at the moment. So we're talkin' sports and stuff, as the title states so eloquently.
In the world of sports. So the world of college football suffered what can only be called a mild stroke over the weekend. Auburn crashed and burned, Texas met its match in Kansas State, Louisville was taken out by Rutgers, and Cal lost to Arizona. All of which means that Ohio State and Michigan remain on a crash course for Saturday. Rutgers faces off against West Virginia. I think if Rutgers runs the table, they DO deserve a shot at the National Title.
Though, should Michigan beat Ohio State, the National Title game should be a rematch, especially if the game is close. But note it here, Michigan will pull the upset Saturday.
In hockey things are great. The Atlanta Thrashers have lost two games in a row and still maintain a three game lead in the division. The Sabres and the Ducks are rockin'. They have 2 regulation losses between them. Three Atlanta Thrashers currently lead the league in scoring, which is quite the accomplishment.
Now, on to the stuff part of this article.
The Democrats now control the House and the senate. Normally Blake would rip on this topic, but because of his mental vacation I'll handle it. There are issues that will show where these people stand. Some elements on the left want a calendar date for Iraq troop withdrawal. This is an incredibly massive mistake. I'm all for pulling out, but we shouldn't state when we're doing it.
But hey, it's only two years. In 2008 the public will realize how much of the Democrat Party has been hijacked by the hardcore left like Michael Moore and George Soros.
Alright, kids, take it easy, keep your stick on the ice. Blake will be back soon, I hope. Take note that the posts will be cut back, it's finals season.
In the world of sports. So the world of college football suffered what can only be called a mild stroke over the weekend. Auburn crashed and burned, Texas met its match in Kansas State, Louisville was taken out by Rutgers, and Cal lost to Arizona. All of which means that Ohio State and Michigan remain on a crash course for Saturday. Rutgers faces off against West Virginia. I think if Rutgers runs the table, they DO deserve a shot at the National Title.
Though, should Michigan beat Ohio State, the National Title game should be a rematch, especially if the game is close. But note it here, Michigan will pull the upset Saturday.
In hockey things are great. The Atlanta Thrashers have lost two games in a row and still maintain a three game lead in the division. The Sabres and the Ducks are rockin'. They have 2 regulation losses between them. Three Atlanta Thrashers currently lead the league in scoring, which is quite the accomplishment.
Now, on to the stuff part of this article.
The Democrats now control the House and the senate. Normally Blake would rip on this topic, but because of his mental vacation I'll handle it. There are issues that will show where these people stand. Some elements on the left want a calendar date for Iraq troop withdrawal. This is an incredibly massive mistake. I'm all for pulling out, but we shouldn't state when we're doing it.
But hey, it's only two years. In 2008 the public will realize how much of the Democrat Party has been hijacked by the hardcore left like Michael Moore and George Soros.
Alright, kids, take it easy, keep your stick on the ice. Blake will be back soon, I hope. Take note that the posts will be cut back, it's finals season.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Veteran's Day
The Bank is Closed. The mail won't be running today. Across the nation at sports venues the National Anthem, although the same as any other day, will have a bit more meaning to it. It's a holiday. Not Christmas, New Year's, or Valentine's Day. It's Veteran's Day.
It's a day when we stand up across the nation and honor the veterans who have fought and died for this country. From the Revolution to Iraq, men and women have placed their lives in danger to protect you.
My uncle fought in Vietnam, my grandfather was in the Army during the Korean Conflict, and thankfully he was never deployed. Over the last few days in the shop I work in I've rented Penske Trucks to two veterans of the current Iraq War.
World War II witnessed the "Greatest Generation," a moniker that I'm not especially thrilled with, but that's another story for another day. The entire nation mobilized to survive that war. Then came Vietnam, a fierce battle that saw returning soldiers being spat upon by peaceniks. Presently our soldiers are being called murders and thugs. Dennis Kucinich claimed that they were ordered to assassinate civilians in cold blood.
I'm not quite sure exactly when the change occurred. I don't know why some people harbor such hatred of our military. But I thank the soldiers, and I thank God above for watching over them.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Quick Hit: Voting
Well, I voted. Am I bragging about it? Just a bit.
You have a right to vote, so you might aw well use it. I only wish that some people weren't allowed to vote. Now I can already hear the gears grinding in your politically correct heads: Oh my, he's from the south and he doesn't want people voting. He must be racist. He probably would beat up people to keep them from reaching the polls. Well, you're wrong.
The fact that people were denied the right because of the color of their skin is horrifying, but at the same time I don't think we should forget the past just because it troubles us. No, I don't want ignorant or stupid people voting. I don't want to hear the phrase: "Well, the Republicans suck so the Democrats would do better in office." First off, why exactly would the Democrats do better in office? All I'm asking is that, if you do go to the polls today and vote in this mid-term election, please be at least somewhat informed of the candidates and theirs stances on the issues.
Personally, I wanted to send a message to the GOP that I'm unhappy with their leadership. So did I vote Democrat? Nope. I voted mostly Libertarian. You see, the Libertarian Party is closely related to the Republican Party, in that both originally stood for smaller and less invasive government. The GOP has left that ideal, but the Libertarian Party still remains mostly allied with it. As such, a vote for the Libertarian candidate is a vote the Republicans lose, but at the same time a vote the Democrats do not win.
You have a right to vote, so you might aw well use it. I only wish that some people weren't allowed to vote. Now I can already hear the gears grinding in your politically correct heads: Oh my, he's from the south and he doesn't want people voting. He must be racist. He probably would beat up people to keep them from reaching the polls. Well, you're wrong.
The fact that people were denied the right because of the color of their skin is horrifying, but at the same time I don't think we should forget the past just because it troubles us. No, I don't want ignorant or stupid people voting. I don't want to hear the phrase: "Well, the Republicans suck so the Democrats would do better in office." First off, why exactly would the Democrats do better in office? All I'm asking is that, if you do go to the polls today and vote in this mid-term election, please be at least somewhat informed of the candidates and theirs stances on the issues.
Personally, I wanted to send a message to the GOP that I'm unhappy with their leadership. So did I vote Democrat? Nope. I voted mostly Libertarian. You see, the Libertarian Party is closely related to the Republican Party, in that both originally stood for smaller and less invasive government. The GOP has left that ideal, but the Libertarian Party still remains mostly allied with it. As such, a vote for the Libertarian candidate is a vote the Republicans lose, but at the same time a vote the Democrats do not win.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
This had to be done, it simply had to be done.
Good for these guys. John Kerry comes out in front of a bunch of California college students and proceeds to say that lack of seriousness regarding your education will get you stuck in Iraq. He's met by a rousing chorus of indifference from the Democrats, white-hot anger from the Republicans, and, as pictured, the best response of all from the troops themselves.So Kerry says it was botched joke. No. A reverend, a priest, and a rabbit walking into a bar is a botched joke. He claims he meant to say that not being serious about your education would cause you to get us stuck in Iraq. So it was yet another shot at Bush's intelligence. It's amazing, you'd think the Democrats would rather elect a public speaker than an actual leader.
What's even more amazing is that, at first, Kerry refused to apologize. Well, he did apologize Wednesday, so I guess everything is okay now. One positive thing to come out of all of this is the fact that the media actually called a Democrat out on something. It's frustrating though, knowing that if a conservative had said the exact same thing they would have been crucified before they could even think about apologizing.
On Other Topics:
Why is it that foreign language professors feel the need to talk to you in the language they teach, even when not in class? You don't have biology teachers walking up to you and asking you about cell structure, or history teachers asking you about the War of 1812, yet every time your spanish professor walks by they always say "Hola, como estas?" and you suddenly find yourself struggling to answer a question in a language you detest.
And then there's this teacher who is quite possibly the most god-awful excuse for a professor that has ever existed. She has never handed out in sort of study guide, grading rubric, or any sort of warning about what mood she'll be in. She counts off points if you use extra material to validate your point. Even though she is teaching a junior level course, she wants sentences to be roughly third-grade in style and construct. She should be at a middle-school, not in any college anywhere, because that is exactly how she treats her students. I can't wait on teacher evaluations. I normally don't even use the yellow comment sheets, but this time I think I'll use about three or four.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Professor Sanjay's Wacky Fun Class
This entry is given to Sanjay, seeing as my last post made everyone mad enough to not even comment, but to physically beat me up whenever they saw me. Take it away, Sanjay.
Alright, class, take your seats. Professor Sanjay here to explain away some of those pesky questions you kids keep bringing to my office. And please, remember that my office hours are Monday and Wednesday from 10:30 to noon.The first question was brought by my office last week and I still don't know how anyone could even think of this. It follows:
THEOREM: All horses have an infinite number of legs.
The theorem may seem intuitively obvious to some, but in the interest of rigor we will give a complete proof. We begin with two Lemmas:
Lemma 1: All horses are the same color. Proof: We use the Principle of Mathematical Induction on the number, n, of horses. Clearly, one horse is the same color, so the Lemma is true for n=1. Now assume k horses are the same color, and consider k+1 horses. If we remove any one horse, we are left with k horses, which, by hypothesis, are all the same color. Since we removed an arbitrary horse, all k+1 horses are the same color.
Lemma 2: If a number is both even and odd, then it is infinite. Proof: Let n be a number which is both even and odd, and assume n is finite. As an even number, n = 2a for some integer a, and as an odd number, n = 2a+1. Thus 2a = 2a+1, whence 0 = 1. This contradiction establishes Lemma 2. Proof of Theorem: All horses have forelegs in front and two in back, so that all horses have six legs. Now six is an even number, but six is clearly an odd number of legs for a horse to have. Thus the number of legs on a horse is both even and odd, and so by Lemma 2 it must be infinite. You say, "But my horse has four legs." That, however, is a horse of a different color, which by Lemma 1 does exist.
First, off, we all know that this is a load of scientific rubbish. Anyone can look at a horse and see that it has four legs. If you can't count to four, then you might as well quit. But I have to hand it to the boring person who figured this out. The math checks out, now go back to smoking your ganja.
THEOREM 2: You've never touched anything.
This one is interesting. The theorem states that, because everything that exists is made of atoms, and atoms themselves are composed of a nucleus of protons and neutrons encircled by a cloud of negatively charged electrons, then nothing as ever touched anything. How? The negative charge of the electron cloud keeps to atoms of touching. Remember, electrons move so fast that it is impossible to know either where they are or where they are going. Let me rephrase that. You can either know where an electron is, or where it is going, but not both, because the mere existence of one precludes the knowledge of the other. It's like this, if you know exactly where something is, then the object in question can be given no measurable speed, but if you instead give an object a measurable speed, you cannot give a precise location, only a path. So electrons are moving so fast that they are everywhere and nowhere within an atom's electron cloud. If that is so, then the negative charge will repel any other atom, thought certainly with varying degrees of repulsion. You think you're sitting at a computer right now? Wrong, you're floating less than 1/billionth of an inch above the chair. You never strike the keys of a keyboard when typing, you merely register the force of the atomic repulsion, which in turns presses the individual keys down. You never touch the ground when you walk, it is again the less than 1/billionth of an inch principal. Almost enough to make you wonder about everything.
Alright class, fun times. I'll see you next week, we'll be having a quiz over the Roman Empire.
Alright, class, take your seats. Professor Sanjay here to explain away some of those pesky questions you kids keep bringing to my office. And please, remember that my office hours are Monday and Wednesday from 10:30 to noon.The first question was brought by my office last week and I still don't know how anyone could even think of this. It follows:
THEOREM: All horses have an infinite number of legs.
The theorem may seem intuitively obvious to some, but in the interest of rigor we will give a complete proof. We begin with two Lemmas:
Lemma 1: All horses are the same color. Proof: We use the Principle of Mathematical Induction on the number, n, of horses. Clearly, one horse is the same color, so the Lemma is true for n=1. Now assume k horses are the same color, and consider k+1 horses. If we remove any one horse, we are left with k horses, which, by hypothesis, are all the same color. Since we removed an arbitrary horse, all k+1 horses are the same color.
Lemma 2: If a number is both even and odd, then it is infinite. Proof: Let n be a number which is both even and odd, and assume n is finite. As an even number, n = 2a for some integer a, and as an odd number, n = 2a+1. Thus 2a = 2a+1, whence 0 = 1. This contradiction establishes Lemma 2. Proof of Theorem: All horses have forelegs in front and two in back, so that all horses have six legs. Now six is an even number, but six is clearly an odd number of legs for a horse to have. Thus the number of legs on a horse is both even and odd, and so by Lemma 2 it must be infinite. You say, "But my horse has four legs." That, however, is a horse of a different color, which by Lemma 1 does exist.
First, off, we all know that this is a load of scientific rubbish. Anyone can look at a horse and see that it has four legs. If you can't count to four, then you might as well quit. But I have to hand it to the boring person who figured this out. The math checks out, now go back to smoking your ganja.
THEOREM 2: You've never touched anything.
This one is interesting. The theorem states that, because everything that exists is made of atoms, and atoms themselves are composed of a nucleus of protons and neutrons encircled by a cloud of negatively charged electrons, then nothing as ever touched anything. How? The negative charge of the electron cloud keeps to atoms of touching. Remember, electrons move so fast that it is impossible to know either where they are or where they are going. Let me rephrase that. You can either know where an electron is, or where it is going, but not both, because the mere existence of one precludes the knowledge of the other. It's like this, if you know exactly where something is, then the object in question can be given no measurable speed, but if you instead give an object a measurable speed, you cannot give a precise location, only a path. So electrons are moving so fast that they are everywhere and nowhere within an atom's electron cloud. If that is so, then the negative charge will repel any other atom, thought certainly with varying degrees of repulsion. You think you're sitting at a computer right now? Wrong, you're floating less than 1/billionth of an inch above the chair. You never strike the keys of a keyboard when typing, you merely register the force of the atomic repulsion, which in turns presses the individual keys down. You never touch the ground when you walk, it is again the less than 1/billionth of an inch principal. Almost enough to make you wonder about everything.
Alright class, fun times. I'll see you next week, we'll be having a quiz over the Roman Empire.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Pictureless for a Reason
Well, I see that Fred over at Skewed as a mild case of the panties in a bunch. I want to offer a sincere apology to those who might be offended by what they read in this post. Yes, I took a bit of a shot at Michael J. Fox. I respect him, and wish him well in his battle with Parkinson's, but trust me, if the Republicans ever trot out someone with an illness for the sake of political gain, I will take the same shots at them. Anyway, on with the show:
I sit here a man without a party. Politically speaking, I'm on the outside looking in. I was a Libertarian, borderline Republican. Lately, I'm so tired of the endless stream of crap being forcefed to the voting public that I've washed my hands of the major parties. I can find no reason that any party would be worthy of my membership. Is that a hint of self-importance I detect? Yes, it is. I'm actually an informed voter, so to speak, which scares the living daylights of out Joe and Sally Congressman.
Informed voters actually have a radar that detects crap from a great distance. Recently, any informed voter within... aw crap, on the globe, has realized that every single politician in Washington, DC is more absorbed with what kind of power they've gained, rather than the fact that, with said power, these people can actually effect great change in this country. I'm usually all for people having personal responsibility, but hey, Congress actually can do something about eliminating poverty. It can be done. You don't have to raise minimum wage to do it, either. But how? First, a quick lesson. Minimum wage rises, this is salary. If your continue to sell your products or services for the same price as you did before minimum wage was increased, you quckly lose money. Businesses are, for all intents and purposes, legally obligated to make money. If minimum wage goes up, the price of products goes up. If people have more money, but are in turn spending more money, then where's the gain?
The best proposition I've seen is the Fair Tax (go to fairtax.org for a lesson). If Congress would actually enact said bill, the salary average across the nation would rise. People would have more money, because our lovely imperial federal government wouldn't be taking so much of it.
But why would Congress care about you? I'm all for humanitarian work, but we need to realize that the region we've totally screwed over on this globe gains most of it's humanitarian aid from groups we've labelled "terrorist." I don't care which side of the aisle decided which people were terrorists, someone in Hamas or Hizb'allah has done something right. I don't agree with their methods, but they at least help rebuild what they blow up (most of the time). Congress, though, is spending billions of your hard-earned tax dollars every day to help people you'll never meet, but you have to take their word that the money is going to a good cause.
The Republicans have quagmired us. The Democrats are mad because a gay Republican (a crime in itself to dems) had sex with an intern, while they give Gerry Studds (RIP) a standing ovation for the same act. They, being the dems, have run Michael J. Fox out to complain about stem cell research not being funded. I've got news Michael, just because the feds aren't funding something doesn't mean it isn't being funded. Now sit down with the rest of Hollywood and keep your freakin' opinions to yourself. That being said, I have nothing but respect for Michael J. Fox. I wish he could recover from Parkinson's, but the fact remains that stem cell research has not been proven to cure disease, only to slow it down. Until that time, I think I can find better things for my tax dollars to be going to. It's almost like the last election and before the Iraq war. Jeanene Girafolo comes out with an ad saying "What has Saddam Hussein ever done to us?" Well, not us exactly, but a million Iranians and Kurds would kindly disagree. The Hollywood left needs to calm down. Especially this Air America bunch of worthless little guttersnipes.
The Republicans keep saying "stay the course", "run the race," well, I think the race has been postponed. We've pretty well ticked everyone in the region off. No one realy listens to us anymore. Do I blame Bush for it all? No. Clinton, Bush 41, Reagan, Carter, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, they've all got some blame to carry. Clinton was offered bin Laden twice by Sudan, but we would have had to remove Sudan from our terror watchlist. At the time, not such a great idea. Now? Might should've looked a little deeper into it. The answer does not lie with the United Nations. As my friend Robert has pointed out, the US, as the reigning superpower, does not give the body enough respect. Of course, they aren't exactly the bastion of credibility over the past decade. From planning to let Iraq and Iran co-chair the weapons council and Libya chairing the human rights council to the oil-for-food fiasco that was conveniently swept under the rug, the UN sits in New York derisively mocking the free world.
Well, I'm spent, so let's quickly recap. The Democrats spend too much money. The Republicans are essentially democrats with guns. The Libertarians, if they could ever actually give a crap about anything, might be a viable option. A voter revolution nears. Don't take that as the epic "Oh my, revolution." One day, the voters will wake up to your crap. One day Joe Taxpayer is going to say "Hey, what are you doing with this money?" What will your answer be? Think about it, Washington. How are you going to respond to the millions of voters in this country when they get fed up with your nonsense. It's not about having power, Congress, it's about accomplishing change with your power.
I sit here a man without a party. Politically speaking, I'm on the outside looking in. I was a Libertarian, borderline Republican. Lately, I'm so tired of the endless stream of crap being forcefed to the voting public that I've washed my hands of the major parties. I can find no reason that any party would be worthy of my membership. Is that a hint of self-importance I detect? Yes, it is. I'm actually an informed voter, so to speak, which scares the living daylights of out Joe and Sally Congressman.
Informed voters actually have a radar that detects crap from a great distance. Recently, any informed voter within... aw crap, on the globe, has realized that every single politician in Washington, DC is more absorbed with what kind of power they've gained, rather than the fact that, with said power, these people can actually effect great change in this country. I'm usually all for people having personal responsibility, but hey, Congress actually can do something about eliminating poverty. It can be done. You don't have to raise minimum wage to do it, either. But how? First, a quick lesson. Minimum wage rises, this is salary. If your continue to sell your products or services for the same price as you did before minimum wage was increased, you quckly lose money. Businesses are, for all intents and purposes, legally obligated to make money. If minimum wage goes up, the price of products goes up. If people have more money, but are in turn spending more money, then where's the gain?
The best proposition I've seen is the Fair Tax (go to fairtax.org for a lesson). If Congress would actually enact said bill, the salary average across the nation would rise. People would have more money, because our lovely imperial federal government wouldn't be taking so much of it.
But why would Congress care about you? I'm all for humanitarian work, but we need to realize that the region we've totally screwed over on this globe gains most of it's humanitarian aid from groups we've labelled "terrorist." I don't care which side of the aisle decided which people were terrorists, someone in Hamas or Hizb'allah has done something right. I don't agree with their methods, but they at least help rebuild what they blow up (most of the time). Congress, though, is spending billions of your hard-earned tax dollars every day to help people you'll never meet, but you have to take their word that the money is going to a good cause.
The Republicans have quagmired us. The Democrats are mad because a gay Republican (a crime in itself to dems) had sex with an intern, while they give Gerry Studds (RIP) a standing ovation for the same act. They, being the dems, have run Michael J. Fox out to complain about stem cell research not being funded. I've got news Michael, just because the feds aren't funding something doesn't mean it isn't being funded. Now sit down with the rest of Hollywood and keep your freakin' opinions to yourself. That being said, I have nothing but respect for Michael J. Fox. I wish he could recover from Parkinson's, but the fact remains that stem cell research has not been proven to cure disease, only to slow it down. Until that time, I think I can find better things for my tax dollars to be going to. It's almost like the last election and before the Iraq war. Jeanene Girafolo comes out with an ad saying "What has Saddam Hussein ever done to us?" Well, not us exactly, but a million Iranians and Kurds would kindly disagree. The Hollywood left needs to calm down. Especially this Air America bunch of worthless little guttersnipes.
The Republicans keep saying "stay the course", "run the race," well, I think the race has been postponed. We've pretty well ticked everyone in the region off. No one realy listens to us anymore. Do I blame Bush for it all? No. Clinton, Bush 41, Reagan, Carter, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, they've all got some blame to carry. Clinton was offered bin Laden twice by Sudan, but we would have had to remove Sudan from our terror watchlist. At the time, not such a great idea. Now? Might should've looked a little deeper into it. The answer does not lie with the United Nations. As my friend Robert has pointed out, the US, as the reigning superpower, does not give the body enough respect. Of course, they aren't exactly the bastion of credibility over the past decade. From planning to let Iraq and Iran co-chair the weapons council and Libya chairing the human rights council to the oil-for-food fiasco that was conveniently swept under the rug, the UN sits in New York derisively mocking the free world.
Well, I'm spent, so let's quickly recap. The Democrats spend too much money. The Republicans are essentially democrats with guns. The Libertarians, if they could ever actually give a crap about anything, might be a viable option. A voter revolution nears. Don't take that as the epic "Oh my, revolution." One day, the voters will wake up to your crap. One day Joe Taxpayer is going to say "Hey, what are you doing with this money?" What will your answer be? Think about it, Washington. How are you going to respond to the millions of voters in this country when they get fed up with your nonsense. It's not about having power, Congress, it's about accomplishing change with your power.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Bush and Space: again, a picture in every post
I'm taking what Rennie did and running with it. That's right, we here at the Right Wing are doing what we do best, stealing ideas and not even bothering to claim them as our own.
Apparently, the US has a plan for space. That's right, the big black area above and below our planet, and to the sides, you know, that place that turns blue when the sun comes up. We have a plan for that. Let's see, we know that, thanks to The Simpsons, the moon belongs to America, and we've sent robots to Mars, and now we've claimed the whole of infinity as our own.
It seems as though we're drawing closer and closer to Bush actually wearing a cape on stage. The outlandishness needs to end. We don't need a plan for space. How exactly do we plan to leave the planet and not plan to leave Iraq? Seems one should be easier than the other.
The scariest part, as pointed out by Rennie, is that we created a new Space Policy to replace the old Space Policy, but they are apparently the same. That's right, kids, it's typicaly U.S. Space Policy 2.0. We've levelled jurisdiction over the whole of God's creation. Way to go us.
Darth Bush today revealed the Death Star, a working model of George Lucas's ultimate weapon. Built using cheap labor and networked by Microsoft, flaws were immediately found in the design, such as faulty firewalls, a vast open infrastructure, and a small thermal exhaust port right below the main port.
When confronted with these flaws, Emperor Cheney ordered the designers executed and Darth Bush took command of the project.
Apparently, the US has a plan for space. That's right, the big black area above and below our planet, and to the sides, you know, that place that turns blue when the sun comes up. We have a plan for that. Let's see, we know that, thanks to The Simpsons, the moon belongs to America, and we've sent robots to Mars, and now we've claimed the whole of infinity as our own.
It seems as though we're drawing closer and closer to Bush actually wearing a cape on stage. The outlandishness needs to end. We don't need a plan for space. How exactly do we plan to leave the planet and not plan to leave Iraq? Seems one should be easier than the other.
The scariest part, as pointed out by Rennie, is that we created a new Space Policy to replace the old Space Policy, but they are apparently the same. That's right, kids, it's typicaly U.S. Space Policy 2.0. We've levelled jurisdiction over the whole of God's creation. Way to go us.
Darth Bush today revealed the Death Star, a working model of George Lucas's ultimate weapon. Built using cheap labor and networked by Microsoft, flaws were immediately found in the design, such as faulty firewalls, a vast open infrastructure, and a small thermal exhaust port right below the main port.
When confronted with these flaws, Emperor Cheney ordered the designers executed and Darth Bush took command of the project.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Element has identity crisis, but short time to deal with it
Note: To the left is a picture of a very happy scientist after proving that a small plastic whistle won by continually besting his own skeeball high score at Chuck E. Cheese is responsible for splitting atoms. Take notice of the satisfaction spreading across the man's face. He's a happy scientist.
Scientist have created a new heavy element, which will now be referred to as 118, for those of you keeping score at home. Not only is it super heavy, indicating a problem with metabolism, but it decays very rapidly. Just read.
According to CNN.com:
"Scientists said they smashed together calcium with the manmade element Californium to make an atom with 118 protons in its nucleus. The new element lasted for just one millisecond, but it was the heaviest element ever made and the first manmade inert gas -- the atomic family that includes helium, neon and radon. The element was created last year in Russia using a minuscule amount of Californium provided by the Americans. After a millisecond, it decayed into element 114, then into element 112 and then split in half, Moody said."
I have 3 problems with that quote:
1.) I'm not very fond of scientists talking about smashing things.
2.) Why in the name of all that is good and holy are we giving nuclear elements, regardless of the amount, to other countries? Are we just ignoring history at this point?
3. I'm no chemistry major, but how exactly to you count 118 protons in less than one millisecond?
I can't answer any of those, but the whole thing struck me as odd. The worst part of the whole article is that one of the scientists involved says the discovery of 118 (can you really call it a discovery if you just smashed stuff together like a drunken ocelot to get your desired results?) doesn't count until other scientists verify it. So let me get this straight, we're reporting news that isn't really news? Way to go, media!
The most terrifying aspect here is that Americans gave the nuclear elements necessary for this stunt to Russia. Just handed it over. Now I know Russia isn't the threat they once were, but it still seems like shoddy business to just run around going "Who wants nuclear elements? Nuclear elements free to the first fifteen customers!" I think it's badd for our rep.
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